


In Between Days

by 5wans_Kenobe



Series: House of Kenobi [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Amnesia, Anakin Skywalker has a moment, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, I hate midichlorians but I'm using them to my advantage, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Memory Loss, Qui Gon is a beast, Rey Needs A Hug, inter-dimensional beings otherwise known as the house of Kenobi, too many force spirits to count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 35,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5wans_Kenobe/pseuds/5wans_Kenobe
Summary: This is a sequel to Falling RainBen Solo has amnesia and cannot remember anything that occurred after he first encountered Rey in the forests of Takodana. Reverting back to the selfish persona of Kylo Ren, he is a prisoner in his damaged body and being cared for by people he despises.*** This is a sequel to Falling Rain (which is a sequel to Visitation) ****
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Original Character(s), Qui-Gon Jinn/Other(s), Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: House of Kenobi [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808278
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren heard the hum and rattle of engines. His skin prickled with the cold, recycled air of a ship. It hurt to open his eyes. Even through his closed eyelids, it was too bright. There were voices, he was being touched. He lacked the strength to turn his head to see who was there. Whatever they were doing felt nice. He did not struggle and allowed himself to slip backwards into the haze of sleep.

There was was a voice speaking. The tones rose and fell, the words were a jumble, moving too fast. He felt drunk. His hand was being held but he couldn’t manage to pull it away. He concentrated but could not move his body. With great effort, he managed to turn his head. The lights bore into his head and he squinted to make sense of the blurry shapes and colors. 

There was a girl beside him. She was beautiful with hazel eyes and refined features set on a child-like face. He had an irrational urge to kiss her ears. Her eyes scanned his face closely as something clicked in his mind.

“I remember you. You're that girl from the forest. The Scavenger.” His voice was filled with scorn. 

The effect of his words was instantaneous. She recoiled, a gasp escaped her throat.

He didn’t remember her. Their connection, destroying Snoke together, reaching out to each other through the force, their battles, facing the Emperor together, his sacrifice, their love, their baby. The moment in the forest was all he knew of her. _Everything was gone._ She fought to regain some semblance of control as she choked on her words. “You - you carried me to your ship.”

He couldn’t hide his confusion. “I don’t remember doing that.”

 _Oh Gods. Nothing._ Rey's despair drained straight through her.

“Where am I?” He fought against the numbness to move his neck.

“You're my guest” she whispered, echoing his words from long ago. She didn’t even bother to hide her tears which alarmed him even further. They ran down her face in rivers. 

Kylo watched as the girl reached out to stroke his face. A ripple of unknown emotion coursed through him. Her fingers were so light on his cheek. He flinched at her touch and a sob escaped her throat. This was, by far, the strangest thing that had ever happened to him.

He couldn’t move a muscle. He could feel the space between them vibrate and shimmer. The Force. 

Her words were choked out between sobs. “Don't be afraid. I feel it too.”

He could sense the immense power of her Force. She was strong, disciplined. With a sharp intake of breath, he realized she probably overpowered him. He was _her_ prisoner on this ship.

She was whispering to him without moving her lips. **“You're so lonely.”**

 _Oh Force, she was inside his head._ “Get out of my head,” he growled.

**"At night, when you’re desperate to sleep you imagine a desert. I can see it."**

He stared back at her terrified. “How do you know - how are you doing that? Get the fuck out of my fucking head!”

She stared at him with a look of defeat. A wave of sedation washed over him and he was out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the previous story, Ben was captured by surviving members of The Knights of Ren and restrained using the Healing Crystals of Fire. From a distance or in small amounts, the stones are soothing but together, they are paralyzing. He had been rescued from Exegol by Rey, Force Spirit Jedi from the Netherworld of the Force and daughters of Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Kenobi women play a central role in the story.
> 
> I don’t know if any of this is important to know.


	2. Ajan Kloss

He had been moved to a rebel base. Their stupid logo is plastered all over the place. He recognized the stench but didn’t want to believe it could be true. Ajan Kloss. His mother's retreat. This backwater junkyard of a base held a special place in Leia’s heart. Therefore, he had always been determined to hate it. Not the most mature response. He reminded himself that 31 is a bit old to still be rebelling against his mother.

The Scavenger girl was with him. She kept reaching for his hand no matter how many times he instructed her to not touch him. What in the Force was wrong with her? He sighed heavily. More tears streamed down her face. 

“I am Kylo Ren of the First Order. Whatever your ransom demands, they will be paid.” 

“I don’t want money.”

“Ships?” _The Rebels always needed ships._ “Weapons?”

“No thank you.”

His eyes narrowed. “Information?”

“No. You will be kept here until you are healed.”

Rage threatened to blind him. He would burn this entire base down to the ground, kill each and every person on it. “Return me to the First Order immediately! Their medical facilities far exceed anything you might have in this backwards wasteland.”

“I said NO!” Her voice was clipped. If he hadn’t already decided to brutally murder her, he would think she was cute.  
  
She must be using some sort of Force restraints. He struggled until he exhausted himself. 

“Let me go!”

With slight nod of her chin, his restraints tightened painfully. She moved to the opposite side of the room, biting her lip.

  
The Scavenger was doing this to him. She was controlling him. He let out a savage scream, the veins in his neck bulged with sheer effort. He could feel beads of sweat roll down his face. Out of nowhere the lights began to dim. He couldn’t fight against the tide of sedation.


	3. This Isn’t Your Room

When he woke again, the Scavenger was seated beside him on a rickety chair.

“Go away.” He tried to sound convincing.

“No,” she sniffed.

“Are you ever going to stop crying?” he growled.

“Probably not” she snipped back. 

“Can you do it elsewhere?” 

“No. I cannot.” She stared out the door of the quarters at someone or something. He strained his neck to see what she was looking at. Her eyes tracked whatever was out there like a predator. He was glad she had remained. Holy kriff, her profile was beautiful. 

It was getting dark. By gods, he’d forgotten the maddening clatter of birds on this fucking primitive jungle planet. At least they’d managed to get him a decent bed. He rolled his head back, enjoying the soft pillow. He wondered briefly about using a fresher until he realized he was hooked to a catheter. 

He looked up in alarm to see the Scavenger dragging a cot into the quarters.

“You aren’t planning to sleep here are you?”

“Yes.”

“That is unacceptable. I do not permit women in my room.”

“This isn’t your room.”

He wanted to ask who’s room it was but he couldn't stand giving her the satisfaction. There was a cracked mirror and some clothes stacked on a crate. With a start he spied his mother’s perfume bottle and Han’s medal. He strained to look around. He couldn’t feel his Mother’s Force _anywhere_ but her most cherished possessions were in this room. _What the hell was going on here?_ He started to hyperventilate.

“My mother is behind this? She had me kidnapped?” _It all made sense. The Scavenger was probably a bounty hunter._ Ren's heart raced.

“Leia Organa is behind many things.” The girl said simply.

He felt like he was going to pass out or choke on rage. 

“Ugh. If Leia means to torture me, why has she not shown her face?”

“Oh, she will.”

Kylo Ren couldn’t hide his distress at the thought of facing his Mother. Few things in the known galaxy terrified him more than the sight of his Mother. He dropped his already low voice, trying to sound gentle. “Set me free and I promise I won’t kill you.”


	4. Healers

Kylo Ren woke to excruciating pain. A girl with reddish blond hair was changing his catheter. She was dressed in green scrubs and wore her hair in a braided crown like his mother. In fact, aside from her red hair, she looked a great deal like his mother had in her 20's. He tried to shift his body away as she inserted a new catheter. Out of nowhere, he felt a force blast hit his face like a strong slap. 

“My goodness, I’m sorry I had to do that but honestly, this is your penis we’re dealing with here. Stay still or you’ll really feel my wrath.”

“You’re a doctor?” he managed to croak out. 

She smiled warmly. “I’m Jinn. That’s J I N N. I’m a Force Healer.”

“Force Healing isn’t real.”

“Maybe you’re imagining me” she suggested sweetly. 

“If I were imagining you, I wouldn’t be in this much pain.”

“If you’re done being difficult, we’re going to work on your spine this morning.”

“Wait - What happened to my spine?”

“Oh that’s right. We’re also going to work on your memory too. That'll be fun. I’ve never done that before. Your brain took an enormous jolt of electricity. This is Wipolo, he’ll be working with me. Force Melding” Jinn said proudly.

A tall, thin young man with caramel skin and messy dark hair stood behind the girl. He looked terrified. _Good._ At least someone around this fucking base was scared of him. 

Jinn deftly put pillows beside him and rolled him onto his stomach onto a hospital gurney. Only with this movement did he realize he couldn’t feel his arms and legs. He gasped. None of his muscles, limbs responded to him. “Did you say electrical jolt? What happened to me?”

“Shhhhh.”

They were doing something strange to his back. Breathing in unison, with their hands together on his back. It felt incredible. He looked up and he saw the Scavenger. In a horrible flash of clarity, he realized he was naked. He felt himself turning red. A smile reached the Scavenger’s eyes. _At least she wasn’t crying anymore._

“Look!” Jinn cooed. “Look at that, you moved your big toe! That’s such a good sign. Oh, I'm so happy." She latched onto Wipolo’s arm in a gesture that seemed oddly familiar to Ren. 

They continued doing their breathing and Ren found himself deeply relaxed by whatever the hell they were doing. The redhead touched his fingers, one by one. His fingers felt swollen, prickly and numb. He couldn’t move fingers but he could make his whole hand twitch. 

Her smile was so kind and tender, he felt himself unable to scowl. She held his large hand between hers and breathed slowly. A soft violet light emanated from her hands as she held his gaze. For a moment, he forgot his anger, his nudity, where he was, even his own name. Her Force was strong and strange and comforting.  
  
Ren was repositioned on his back, knees elevated on the gurney. He was grateful when the boyish man covered his groin with a towel. They moved to either side of him. They breathed and fussed over his forehead. Wipolo’s hand covered Jinn’s and an almost sparkly light glowed under their hands. Ren’s brain hummed blissfully as they worked. 

He could tell the pair was in love even before they hugged, right in front of him. He tried to guess how old they were. They looked younger than him. _Maybe 20, 25?_ Wipolo, the guy, was rail thin but had extremely broad shoulders that seemed incongruent with his boyish face. Ren wondered if they were Jedi. The pretty redhead seemed to be the leader of the two. Maybe he was her Padawan. _How many fucking Jedi were there?_

Snoke would lose his mind when he found out. Ren would have to find a way to tell his Master without inciting his wrath. He would advise capturing them and turning them to the darkside. It would be useful to have healers. _He wouldn't kill them_ , he decided. _The redhead_ , he mused, _was alright_. _Very powerful and not to be trifled with._ She fixed Ren with a radiant smile and he realized he was grinning back at her like a dope. 

“I’ll be back to change your catheter after work." She turned to the Scavenger, “Wipolo will stay with you today.”

The young man nodded several times as though he was trying to convince himself.

Jinn put her face squarely in front of Kylo Ren’s face, a bright smile on her face. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to use a bedpan today.”

“No!”  
  
“Then start healing yourself, silly!” she chirped like she was speaking to a confused child. If anyone in the First Order had dared speak to him like that, he would have force choked them without a second thought. For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with the Healer. Plus, she could Force choke him back. 

“Bye, bye Rey!” The healer sang out.

_So the scavenger’s name was Rey._


	5. Under magnification

Wipolo cornered Jinn outside Ben's quarters. “You don't really have to leave, do you?”

She nodded, biting her lip. She couldn't get over him being here. Her eyes traveled over his rumpled black hair and round, sparkling eyes. _He was hers. Hers, hers, hers._ She felt like a child waking up on Life Day. She had been smitten with him almost the moment they met at the Black Spire Medical Crisis Center. He had been designated as a critical case, not expected to survive the night due to mortal wounds. His palm had been scanned for the morgue, the intake nurse didn’t even bother to open a proper file on him. 

Jinn had not suspected he was a Force user until she had touched him. Jinn’s sister, Swans, was trained as Force Seeker and could read the Force Signature of any being more effectively than a midichlorian test. Jinn could only tell by touch if someone was Force Sensitive. When she had first touched Wipolo, she had felt a sweet, almost metallic feeling. His force, his memory, his emotions opened to her like a curtain. Her entire body felt buzzy and alive when they worked together Force Healing. She wondered if he felt the same way. 

“Jinn” he whispered as his hand tentatively reached around to the small of her back. Her eyes fluttered at his touch. She swallowed hard as he smiled down at her. She hadn’t noticed before that he had one crooked bottom tooth. It made his smile even cuter. _He was perfect, perfect, perfect_. She couldn’t believe her luck that he actually seemed to like her back. 

“I need to leave for work soon. I’ll only have 5 more good hours.”

Jinn Kenobi and her sisters had been born in The Netherworld of the Force. Technically, she shouldn’t exist on any level: her parents had been Force Spirits when she had been conceived. Her Father always said, The Force yields many miracles. She and her sisters speculated their births had more to do with her Father’s acquisition of a set of amber Healing Crystals of Fire that he used for ‘purely research purposes’. Because she had been born to spirits residing in the Netherworld of the Force, she also possessed the ability to move between worlds seamlessly, traveling without consideration for time or space. Unfortunately, Jinn’s ability to heal using the Force didn’t last long. After about 6 hours, her strength waned. She knew her time in the Outerworld was should be limited if she was to be effective.

She ran her fingers up the length of Wipolo’s arm. Gods, she loved the way he watched her when she touched him. It was like he was mesmerizing every detail of her body. “I’ll see you in 4 ½ hours. I'll come back to check on the catheter.” She forced herself to leave, disappearing before his eyes.

Wipolo turned to look for Rey’s laptop. He had acted like he knew what Jinn was talking about when she’d told him about the gurney, catheter and bedpan. Acting like he knew what he was doing was one of Wipolo’s worst habits. Luckily, he was bright and could usually figure things out before anyone caught onto his deceptions.

He was watching an instructional video about bedpans when he felt someone looking over his shoulder. Swans, Jinn’s younger sister studied him like insect under a magnifying glass.

”Are you looking for Jinn?” he asked.

“How do you feel about my sister?” Swans' voice was icy.

“I, um-“

She interrupted before he could answer. “Because if you aren’t serious, I think you should make a run for it. I’ve never seen Jinn like this.’

“I like her. A lot.” Wipolo’s crooked smile said more than he intended. Jinn was now the center of his universe. He had no intention of leaving.

“I think she’d resurrect your dead body. I’m being completely serious.”

Wipolo shrugged. “OK.”

Swans stared at him in silence. He shifted his eyes back to the laptop. Swans narrowed her eyes. “You have no Force Signature. Would you care to explain that to me?”

“I’m not super clear what you’re talking about” Wipolo fibbed. He had worked long and hard to push down any traces of the Force. Up until he met Jinn, there had never been a reason to let it break through.

“Every living create has a Force Signature. Except you. Do you know how incredibly weird that is? You can heal -“

It was Wipolo’s turn to interrupt. “I can only heal with Jinn.”

“That’s not true” Swans challenged. She was bluffing.

“OK, I can heal myself” Wipolo admitted. “But I didn’t know how to do it _before_ I met Jinn.”

“Are there other Force users in your family?” Swans watched his face closely for signs of deception.

“I’d rather not answer that.”

“I can find out.” 

“That should take you awhile.” Wipolo’s tone was dismissive.

Swans couldn’t hide her surprise. This handsome, somewhat dorky guy was actually challenging her.

"Game on," she muttered under her breath as she stomped off to check on Rey.


	6. Indefinitely

By the light, Ren could tell it was mid morning. He wished he could fall back asleep. Falling asleep and staying asleep had always been a problem for him. He was terrible at being alone with himself and he was even worse being around other people.

 _Was Rey there, asleep in his room?_ Ren couldn’t tell. He tried to listen for the sound of her breath through the infuriating barrage of birds singing. Some idiot was hammering away nearby. _Why the fuck did they need to do that before noon? And what kind of hellish excuse for a medical treatment center didn’t have a kriffing door?_ His head pounded with rage. 

And then he saw Rey in the soft morning light. She was moving through training forms. He could hear a man’s voice, with a crisp Coruscant accent instructing her on Form V: The Way of the Krayt Dragon. For a nauseating moment, he thought it was Luke. _It would be the ultimate torture to have to be trained by Luke again._

 _Why was she going through forms like a youngling?_ _She couldn’t be a Jedi if she was still learning her forms. Or could she? She had overpowered him, she could speak to him through Force Telepathy, she was somehow restraining him._ A wave of fear ran through him. W _hat if Luke was training new Jedi? What then?_

He watched the Scavenger’s slender form pass in front of the door. Her face was set with determination. Then Ren heard the male voice softly correct her. “You’re a bit off but you’re making progress. Slow down, let your muscles breathe into the form. Let the Force guide you.”

Ren remembered this line of gibberish from his time at Luke’s temple. _Ugh. So she was still learning. Maybe she was a padawan._ That made him feel even worse. _He’d been captured by a trainee._

→ →

She returned to his bedside freshly showered. She smelled like soap and the pink crescent moon shaped candies his mother used to buy him when they visited Naboo. Gods, he wished he could kiss her ears and her perfect lips. How could a bounty hunter - Jedi Padawan or whatever the hell she was be so cute? That was probably part of what made her successful. 

“I require water.”

She signed dramatically. “Fabulous manners.”

“I’m Kylo Ren. Leader of The Knights of Ren. When they find me, they will kill you.”

She lifted a cup to his lips. He took a long drink and then spat the remainder at her, hitting her arm. She threw the cup at him, hitting him on the nose. He tried not to wince from the pain.  
  
“How long are you planning to keep me as your prisoner?” he snarled. 

“Indefinitely.” 

“I’ll have to kill you.” Even as he heard himself speak the words, he realized how unconvincing he sounded.

A memory flashed open. He could see her in the forest, barely able to hold a pathetic blaster. She was so scared but determined to face him. His breath caught, as he remembered how he had overpowered her. _She was right, he had carried her in his arms out of the forest._ He remembered holding her, studying her as she lay unconscious on his lap. She had an almost magnetic pull he seemed unable to ignore. Embarrassment washed over him as he remembered how he had traced the outlines of her face. He had been so pathetic, weak and foolish.

“I _will_ kill you,” he said through clenched teeth.

She returned his angry stare with a look that silenced him. He knew that look well. His parents used to look at him like that. He was accustomed to disappointing people, especially women. She prepared to sit down on her cot, tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. 

“Why are you so upset? Did I kill your family or something?”

“Yes. Something like that,” she sighed.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on all the ways he was going to make General Hux suffer for allowing him to fall into the enemy's hands.


	7. A Spiritual Measurement

Swans Kenobi left the jarring noise of Ajan Kloss far behind as she disappeared into the Netherworld of the Force. The entrance to their world was dim and hard to navigate but she knew it well. Familiar faces greeted her warmly. 

Across a long room, she glimpsed the one face she longed to see: Qui Gon Jinn.

In the Netherworld, age was irrelevant and Force Spirits could present themselves however they wished. For years, Qui Gon had elected to stay frozen in time at the age of his death, 48. In the last few days he had appeared younger to her. She added to the long list of things that were pissing her off.

→ →

Before she could say Wampa, he had a hand on her waist, pulling her into a quiet courtyard. 

He stood at the edge of a babbling fountain. Flower petals drifted in the breeze. _Was it like this already or was he floating the petals through the air like snow?_ Her heart pounded in her throat. _Gods almighty, he was handsome._ At 6’4”, he towered over her and his sheer size overwhelmed her senses. 

She had been secretly in love with him since she was a teenager. In recent days, they had embarked in a physical relationship. Sex with him was unlike anything Swans had ever known. Despite his detached Jedi manner, he was a passionate and assertive lover. 

“Anyone could see us” she complained as his hand ran up her spine, making her shiver.

“Couldn’t care less” he breathed as he pulled her onto his lap. His arms circled around her tightly, his chin tucked against her shoulder. “Swans, I’ve missed you. Come be with me now.” 

His lips hovered over hers for a moment. She breathed in his breath: he smelled like incense and vanilla. He brushed his lips against hers and it was like a chemical reaction. She really hadn’t meant to attack him but she couldn’t stop herself, one hand slid under his Jedi robe to feel his chest, the other hand laced into his long hair pulling his mouth even closer to hers. Her lips crushed his and she moaned softly as his tongue met hers.

 _Damn it_. _So much for avoiding him._ She thought. 2 days apart and she was mauling him out in public.

“Come with me now Swans. I need you”. He was ravaging her neck. It felt primal. Seconds later, they were racing to his apartment suite. 

They barely made it in the door before he pulled her tight black dress over her head and wrenching her leggings off. 

No one in her past had affected her like this. She was gasping for breath, clawing at his shoulders as his hand slipped between her legs. 

“Oh Swans.” He loved seeing her like this, out of control, crazed, reacting to his touch. Her knees felt weak and she struggled to stand, her arms wrapped around him for support.

Her orgasm was an explosive release, the living force flowed through them both. He guided her to his low couch. They’d had sex in every room in the apartment but the couch was a favorite, the arm rests provided excellent leverage. He was smiling at her as she guided him into her. He couldn’t get enough of the sight of her as he entered her slowly, so slowly. His eyes searched hers as her breathing hitched. He wanted to pound into her but knew she came harder when he started slowly. He knew she was ready when her nails tore into his lower back.

“Please, please…”

He began thrusting into her with a long delayed rhythm, only increasing his pace as he felt her becoming frantic for more. Fucking her was pure devotion, pure joy for him. As his hand rolled over her swollen clit over and over again, he whispered into her ear. “I am with you Swans. I am with you.. .”

Her back arched sharply as she came, screaming and clawing sharply. Her energy pulled him to the edge and he thrust wildly into her as he came.

“I felt you.” He whispered. “Your power.” His kisses were soft, relaxed, his energy depleted. 

She went to the fresher and gathered her clothes. Without looking back, she left his home. He liked to cuddle and fall asleep holding her. But Swans had work to do.

→ →

After Order 66, those loyal to the Jedi Order made numerous raids on the Jedi Temple. Books and holocrons had been secreted away by the dozens. Before his exile, Swans’ father had secretly acquired the Healing Crystals of Fire while others targeted the archives. They’d tried to recover the Kyber memory crystal holding the information on every known force-sensitive in the galaxy but it had fallen into enemy hands. Over the years, it had been tracked down to the Hutts and eventually Luke Skywalker had traded Sith relics for it. Now it was held in the main library of the Netherworld of the Force, Unceremoniously stored with all the other holocrons.   
  


The Netherworld Library was modeled after the one from the temple on Couresant, at 1/4 the size. Swans wished she could travel back in time to see the temple in all its glory, to witness an era when being a Jedi was a real vocation not an freakish oddity.   
  


She and her sisters would help build a new Jedi Order. They would work with Rey and Ben, when he recovered. Her father had trained her to become a force seeker, so she could scour the galaxy for potential younglings to train. The time had not been right in the past but now, with Rey, they had a figurehead. No matter how powerful her sisters were, a new Jedi Order could not be built by one family. Especially if they had been born in the Netherworld and were as peculiar as the Kenobi sisters.

Swans summoned her twin sister to the library’s Acquisition Division. Starlings Kenobi appeared out of her office in the research department. While they both shared their mother’s ethereal beauty, Starlings’ appearance was more austere than her twin. While Swans preferred streamlined dark clothing, Starlings gravitated towards more androgynous tunics and flowing pants in silver or white.

“I need to check on a Force user in the Kyber memory crystal.” 

Starlings frowned at her sister. “You’ve never needed to consult it before.”

“It’s Wipolo. I can’t feel his Force.”

Starlings was irritated to be disturbed from her research for such a frivolous matter. “So what?”

“He is using the Force but I cannot sense him.”

"So run a midi-chlorians test. It’ll take like, 10 minutes."

“I don’t want to. Midi-chlorians tests are stupid.” Swans had always felt testing blood for something that was partially a spiritual measurement made no sense. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“Ugh. Fine.” Starlings rolled her eyes. “I’ll get Master Ropal. I'm sure he'll be _so happy_ to see you.” 

Swans looked around while she waited for the Jedi Master to open the Holocron. The cavernous library was silent as a tomb. How could her twin sister spend every day here? Swans loved traveling to different worlds as part of her work. Getting a peek into the Force of others was fun too. All the times she was hanging out in an open air bar, tracking down pilots or mechanics for the Resistance, Starlings was holed up in this silent library. It made her headache just thinking about it.

Bolla Ropal didn’t much like the looks of Swans Kenobi with her lipstick and her tight pants. He held on tightly to the Kyber memory crystal. “Tell me a name and I’ll look it up for you.”

Swans narrowed her eyes and fixed the Rodian with a withering gaze. “Wipolo Nagg with two G’s. And turn the screen so I can see or I’ll stay here all afternoon and bug you.”

He activated the glowing blue crystal and adjusted its projection. He found the list and scrolled through all the N’s. “He’s not here.”

“Are you sure? Let me see. He’s a Force User. I think he's from Batuu” Swans said suddenly uncertain. Had she imagined that detail?

Master Ropal tapped the screen impatiently. “Dark side or Light side of the Force?” 

Swans straightened up. She hadn’t thought of that. “Light side, I hope.”

“I ask because, as you might imagine, many of the Force Users on the Dark side of the Force are not visible to us. Their names were deleted years ago.”

“Past generations deleted future, unborn Force Users?”

“Just the Dark side.” Master Ropal nodded. His large Rodian eyes narrowed as he leaned forward. “Honestly Swans, if you met with the Acquisitions department once in a while, you’d already know this.”

Swans frowned. Wipolo certainly didn’t seem like Dark Side. But if he was, she’d just left him alone with Ben and Rey on Ajan Kloss.


	8. A Little Spill

Despite the humidity, the temperature was comfortable on Ajan Kloss. Birds screeched, unseen construction continued in all its annoying forms. Ren could smell sawdust mixed with the strange smells of food cooking. Time trudged onward without him. He wondered what was happening in his absence. Surely the First Order was searching for him. Certainly no one actually missed his presence but he knew Snoke would never let him escape.

Ren tried to work on moving his big toe. He stared at it wondering if it was moving the surrounding toes or he could move them too. If he focused, he could move his fingers up and down but he couldn't get individual fingers bend.

Rey was nowhere to be seen. 

→ →

Wipolo appeared at noon to check on him. To his horror, Ren realized he needed the bedpan. The young man nodded solemnly and got to work. Ren wondered about him. He had never heard of a Force Healer and suddenly there were two of them? If Force users like this guy existed under the radar, what else was out there? 

Wipolo tried hard not to make eye contact as he rolled Kylo Ren on his side. He put a pad on the gurney, then put the bedpan against the side of Ren’s butt before gently rolling him onto his back and up onto the bedpan.

“Wow. We did it. That wasn’t too bad.” The young man spoke softly. He covered Ren, still not looking at him. “I’ll check back on you in a few minutes.” 

Humiliating. There was no other word for it. He defecated and tried not to breathe in his own stink. Wipolo returned with a scarf covering his mouth and nose. He used a towel to clean Ren before taking away the bedpan. His rage was canceled out by a curiosity about the young man who somehow managed to make it seem like they had accomplished something together.

If only he could get out of this bed, he could drag himself out these quarters. Rey must have a ship nearby. He was sure he could fly, his arms were mostly useful. He thrashed against the force restraints until the gurney lurched. He threw himself from one side to the other. The gurney tipped over with a mighty clatter. Ren screamed in agony.

Wipolo ran from where he’d been repairing one of the sanitation droids. He found Ren on the overturned gurney, howling in pain, blood and urine pooled around him. 

→ →

Rey, Obi-Wan and Swans watched the construction crew put up the walls of the building that would become her training center. Rey and Poe agreed that they needed permanent structures, real houses, stable plumbing and wiring. Poe had made all this happen somehow. He had acted like it wasn't a big deal but she knew that resources were limited. She was lucky. If only Ben, her Ben, was by her side to see this.

Rey glanced across the courtyard to Ren's quarters."I don’t like keeping him in restraints like this." 

"It's necessary" Obi-Wan reassured her. "He is a danger to himself in this condition. I believe his memory will be salvaged but he needs to stay safe until that happens." 

"I heard Jinn say she’s never worked on someone’s brain before."

“She is excited for the opportunity. It could open up a new branch of healing and -“ 

They were interrupted by feral screams.

→ →

They rushed to find Wipolo very much in control of the situation. He collapsed the legs of the gurney and turned it upright. They watched in awe as he drew objects to him through the force: towels, rubbing alcohol, bandages. He knelt in the fluids to quickly heal the tear in Ren’s penis where the catheter had partially dislodged. Ren’s breaths were raspy but he did not struggle as the catheter was carefully reinserted. Wipolo jacked up the gurney and transferred Ren into the bed. He was cleaning up the blood and urine when he realized he was being observed.

"We’re fine here!" he called out. "Just a little spill."

Obi-Wan turned to Rey. "How long did it take you to learn how to pick up things using the force?"

Rey breathed in slowly. "Jinn says he’s completely untrained."

“I’m not inclined to believe him.”

"I didn’t know I had any ability." Rey countered. "Finding Luke’s lightsaber and meeting Ben triggered it. Maybe meeting Jinn triggered Wipolo."

"What are the chances of one Force Healer meeting another?" Obi-Wan mused.

"She’s been a healer for quite some time" Swans reasoned. "Chances are that she’d find another Force user eventually."

"I know but there is something odd about him. His aptitude, his quiet demeanor, his lack of pride or ambition."

Swans grinned. "It sounds exactly like the way you describe Qui Gon Jinn."

"It does, doesn’t it?" Obi-Wan chuckled. 

→ →

Wipolo left to shower and the Scavenger took her place at Ren’s side. He was grateful Wipolo had covered him with a sheet. 

"I’m assuming you meant to tip over the gurney?"

Ren was silent for an uncomfortable moment. "It was a miscalculation."

"You were trying to escape?"

He stared straight ahead. 

"You will not succeed." Her voice was ice cold.


	9. Informally

“Oh hi, you don’t remember me but - but what? What do I say?” Rose stared into the broken mirror. She had forgotten how much she liked the humid mornings on Ajan Kloss. 

She sipped hot caf in the shade of Ben’s room. From the doorway, she could see Rey training in the courtyard. Her friend seemed intently focused on one particular movement. Rose watched with fascination as Rey and Obi-Wan repeated the same simple movement over and over again. It was some sort of kneeling pose. Obi-Wan's head tilted down gracefully as he knelt. When Rey tried to match the pose, she kept shaking her head in frustration. The dashing Jedi took Rey by the shoulders, and said something to her. Rey nodded and started to cry. 

Rose was startled when Obi-Wan waved to her. “Rose, come join our lesson!”

“Oh fuck no.” she whispered. Rose pointed to her coffee theatrically and made a show of sipping happily. 

Ben was wheeled in by Wipolo. Rey had spoke of Wipolo Nagg as an abstraction, as though he was an enigma but Rose thought he was adorable. She watched as he transferred Ben onto the bed. He was gentle with Ben, despite his persistant scowl.

“You aren’t Rey!” He snapped 

“Oh are you sure?” she deadpanned.

Irritated, he tried to throw a cup at Rose. His hand grazed the cup and it slowly tipped over.

“That was really mature.”

Wipolo laughed as he left them.

“Keylo I can’t remember, did you start wearing that stupid helmet so the other preschoolers in your class didn’t make fun of your pouty lips or did you keep a pacifier in there?”

“It was effective at muffling out sound” Ren snapped.

“Oooooh is the sound of my voice bothering you? Cuz we haven’t had a chance to talk in days and I’ve saved up a lot of stuff to tell you.”

Over the course of twenty minutes, Rose related a series of petty slights, frustrations with coworkers, her boyfriend and speculations about engineering projects she had planned. She didn’t care if he hated her or not. He was her friend. Sooner or later she would wear him down. 

He angled himself toward her but didn’t face her. “I don’t remember you.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“How did we know each other?”

“We were friends.”

He thought about this for a moment. No one had spoken to him like this in decades, not since Luke’s Temple. Even then he was treated differently, left out of jokes, whispered about.

“Did I give you permission to speak to me this way? So informally?”

She didn’t answer. Only then did he realize her face was wet with tears. There was something he was missing. “Were you my girlfriend?”

She let out a snorting laugh. “No! You couldn’t handle me.” Speaking of girlfriends…”

She was off and chattering again, speculating about some frightening girl named Sola who was dating some guy named Poe Dameron.

“I once tortured someone named Poe” he muttered. 

“Yes, it’s the same guy! See, you do remember things. You aren't completely useless.”


	10. Kef Bir

Anakin Skywalker sat on a high overlook on [Kef Bir](https://starwarsthoughts.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/screen-shot-2019-10-24-at-6.29.32-pm.png). He wished his bedroom window in the Netherworld of the Force had this view. He could spend eternity watching the frigid waves wear away at the hulking skeleton of the second Death Star.

Most days the ex-storm troopers who called this moon home ignored the silent lonely man. He wasn’t even sure if they could see him. He put no effort into making his Force Spirit visible. What would be the point of connecting with anyone? His time in the OuterWorld had come and gone. He had nothing left but a closet full of regrets. 

His daily meditation was interrupted by a soft whisper.

“Master Skywalker, do you mind if I sit with you?”  
  
He was surprised to see Starlings Kenobi standing before him. Her long blond hair whipped in the fierce winds.

He had never spoken to Obi-Wan’s quiet daughter before their mission to Exegol to rescue Ben. He knew she worked in the Netherworld’s library as an archivist alongside her mother, Padme. Beyond that, she seemed to be the only one of Obi-Wan’s children who kept to herself. 

He remembered overhearing that the trip to Exegol had been Starlings’ first time leaving the Netherworld of the Force. Her sisters, Jinn, Swans and Sola all traveled to the Outerworld daily.

He could tell by Starlings’ expression that she was overwhelmed by the sight of the ocean stretched out before her.

“Please sit.”

“The waves are extraordinary.” Her voice held the same lilting Coruscant accent as Obi-Wan. 

“How is your leg?” 

Starlings had been injured during the battle. Anakin had helped carry her out of the underground caves to safety.

“Completely healed. I wanted to thank you for your kind assistance. You were most helpful.” 

“It was no trouble.” He finally allowed himself to look at her. She was beautiful with long dark blond hair and her mother’s refined bone structure. Her cheeks blushed bright pink in the cold wind. Her dark eyes scanned the submerged wreckage of the Death Star out beyond the shoreline. 

She didn’t ask what he was doing here or offer any explanation for being there herself. She sat down beside him quietly. 

After a long silence, Anakin turned to her. “Starlings, did you come here to ask me something?”

“I don’t know if it’s a single question. But yes, there are questions in my mind.”

No one talked to him besides Obi-Wan and Qui Gon. He was unaccustomed to making conversation. 

“Father said you had a castle on Mustafar.”

He laughed at the thought of it. “It was ridiculous. It was a portal to the dark side. I used it to search for your mother.” 

She looked surprised. “You thought my mother would be there, in the Dark Side?”

“I didn’t have a clear mind back then Starlings. I wanted to possess many things that did not belong to me.”

She nodded. “Like the skull of Qui Gon Jinn?”

Anakin shook his head sadly. “I don’t know if anyone in the history of the galaxy has ever made more mistakes than I have.”

“Tell me more.”

He inhaled slowly. “I don’t want to try to justify my actions.”

“I’m not asking you to. I want to understand. There’s a difference.” Her voice was calming.

“But why do you care?”

“I never said I cared.” Her eyes were sharp. He hadn’t noticed that before. “But I do find you interesting. You’re complicated. It is the job of an archivist to find order in complexity, to assign historical value.”

He mulled this over. “I’m like a puzzle to you then?” 

She nodded. “That _is_ a simplistic way of stating it but yes.”

“OK” he said with a shrug. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But I’m afraid it will take some time. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”

“That’s fine.” She leaned against his shoulder slightly and he found himself leaning toward her. Her head rested slightly on his shoulder. He knew the Kenobi girls were an affectionate bunch, they always seemed to be holding onto someone’s arm or hugging someone. He told himself this was just another meaningless gesture but it felt sweet. 

“Where would you like to start?”

“Tell me about building that horrible thing out there.” Starlings pointed to the remnants of the Death Star.

“It came in a kit,” he joked. “There were four pieces that snapped together.” 

She laughed and moved closer, shivering.

“Are you cold?” he whispered.

“A bit. Tomorrow I think we should bring a blanket,” she suggested. 

Anakin rested his cheek on the top of her head and allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it too much to want Anakin to have a moment? Is he still lovable?


	11. Beneath

Ren spent an hour practicing moving his hand. He could grip his water cup but he couldn’t move his fingers. It wasn’t much but it might be enough.

The Scavenger returned to his bedside.

“Rey?" He tested out the sound of her name. “May I ask you a question?”

She didn’t answer so he plowed ahead.

“Were we lovers?”

She cringed. “I dislike that term." She allowed her eyes to meet his cold stare. "But yes.”

“How did that happen? I don’t -”

“I know. I know you were going to say that you do not _indulge_ in that kind of behavior. It’s highly discouraged, is that right?”

He nodded. “It is beneath me.”

“What happened between us was complicated. And I was not always beneath you.” She smiled slightly. “Often I was on top.”

He inhaled sharply, wishing to hell he could remember this. “Tell me. I demand to know how this occurred.”

She cast him a withering glance. “Like specific locations and positions? Or would you like more of an overview?”

He had to think for a moment. “Overview.”

“You reached out to me. Through the Force. We connected.”

“I don’t believe you.” 

She connected to his Force, speaking telepathically. **I know you can hear me.**

He flinched. **I dislike this. Immensely.**

**That’s not true and we both know it. You’re lonely. You are so lonely that it would tear you apart to say it out loud.**

He refused to speak to her through their connection. “What would have motivated you to speak to me?”

**Because I was lonely too. Even when I was surrounded by people, my heart ached.**

Hearing tenderness in her voice struck some deeply buried part of him. A wave of pure longing washed over him, it was raw and without boundaries. He couldn’t allow himself to feel like this. He would not allow feelings like this to take root. Rage flared in him. He had worked for years to stomp out this type of emotion. 

“I refuse to believe I gave into a base physical relationship with you.”

She stood up to leave. His eyes reflexively scanned over her body, admiring her firm ass and toned legs. _Stop, stop, stop._ He commanded himself. This was not the time for adolescent hormones. He needed to act now.

“Wait. I remember-”

She froze.

“I _do_ remember carrying you out of the forest. That memory came back to me. You were unconscious. I remember you were light in my arms.” 

She stepped closer to him, looking into his eyes. 

“You wore strange arm bands and your hair smelled like smoke but not in an unpleasant way.” His body warmed thinking about it. He angled himself toward her.

Her lips parted and her body leaned toward him. He grabbed the blaster from her belt and trained it on her.

“I’ll kill you if I have to,” he hissed. 

“You won’t.” Her words came out as more of a plea than she intended.

“Tell me what you want from me. Snoke will give you anything you ask for.” 

She bit her lip. “I will not be asking Snoke for anything.” With a flick of her wrist, Force energy crushed Ren’s fingers and loosened the weapon out of his grip. He gasped in shock and the blaster tumbled harmlessly from his hand to the floor. Ren tried to fight back, trying to block her Force energy with his own. 

Nothing happened. He focused trying to summon anything but the Force felt cut off from him.

He stared at her, anger tearing through his mind. “What fuck did you do to me?! Why can’t I use the Force?”

“We Force Drained you. Not a lot but enough.”

“That is NOT possible!”

She shrugged. “Apparently it is.” 

Rey sat cross-legged on her cot and closed her eyes. She opened their Force Connection and began to recite the simple meditation that Leia had taught her. **Be with me. Be with me. Be with me.**

Ren growled in rage, trying to clumsily cover his ears with his uncooperative hands. _So this was it?_ She was going to annoy him to death.


	12. Explicit Vision

Jinn returned that evening to remove his catheter. He would be using a bedside urinal. All things considered, it was the best news of his day. Ren found himself looking forward to seeing Jinn. She wasn’t trying to drive him crazy. She and Wipolo were calm and friendly. _Did he value that, all of a sudden?_ He decided that, in his injured condition, he valued people who didn’t drain his force or torture him like Rey. 

He thought about Rey while the Force Healers did their soothing, buzzy thing to his back. Her meditation had driven him out of his mind earlier today. He had screamed at her and she had continued to chant her damn **Be with me** in his head over and over. 

The only way to make her stop was to open the connection on his end and start his own recitation: **It is the task of the First Order to remove the disorder from our own existence, so that civilization may be returned to the stability that promotes progress. A stability that existed under the Empire, was reduced to anarchy by the Rebellion, was inherited in turn by the so-called Republic, and will be restored by us. Future historians will look upon this as the time when a strong hand brought the rule of law back to civilization.**

He had repeated it into their Force connection for over an hour. At that point she turned to glare at him and flooded his mind with a series of images so explicit that it left him speechless: his cock sliding in and out in her mouth, his head between her legs, the two of them slowly having sex in the rain, some strange amber lit sex scene where their bodies moved together in the most exquisite slow motion. He was hard thinking about it and was glad Wipolo had rolled him on his stomach. 

“Look at his ankle rotation!” Jinn exclaimed. Ren turned his head to see the pair of Force Healers hug. In his blissful state, he didn’t mind seeing them being affectionate. They seemed happy together. He wondered what it would feel like to hold Rey in his arms. _What would she taste like? What would it feel like to feel her writhing under his tongue?_

The healers moved from his back to his forehead. He laid his head down and enjoyed the flow of fuzzy warmth. He turned his head so he could watch Rey pacing in the courtyard of the base. 

He liked her long stride. She was a warrior of some sort. He wondered who had discovered her talent? Who had trained her?

A strange memory unfolded itself. He could see himself opening an escape pod with her inside. _She had been so beautiful, like a bride on her wedding day. His bride._ That made absolutely no sense. The memory was so abstract: he couldn’t place any events around it. _Why would she have come to him?_ _She had said they had a sexual relationship but, in the past, affection repulsed him. It was illogical to think they had any kind of friendship but yet she was taking care of him._ He drifted off to sleep watching her pace back and forth.


	13. Unassuming

Wipolo followed Jinn out of Ben’s quarters. “Please don’t tell me you have to leave.”

Jinn tried to suppress a smile. “I only have a few minutes.”

“Come here.”

He took her hand and hurried toward the soldiers barracks where he slept. His cot was surrounded by thick books and datapads. She glanced at the book titles: _The Battle of Galidraan_ , _History of the Galactic Republic_ and _Essays of a Journeyman Protector_ by Jaster Mereel.

“Light reading?” Jinn mused.

Wipolo stepped before her and she felt like she was hovering, more connected to him than the ground beneath her. He closed the gap between them, his hands were laced into her hair, drawing her closer, his tall frame bending down to meet her. Her smile was blinding as she reached to hold his face in her hands. She held her breath, waiting for his kiss.

Then he hugged her. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but it wasn't this. He pulled her close, holding her. She could feel his heart beating, she breathed in the sweet lavender scent of his shampoo. Jinn slowed her breathing, letting herself settle into his embrace. Her eyes closed and time slowed down. Above them, birds trilled and called back and forth to each other. The breeze shushed through the tall trees. She shivered as Wipolo's lips trailed over her earlobe, dropping to her neck. He pulled back slightly and stared at her.

"Jinn" he breathed her name like a prayer.

His hand gently cupped her cheek. He smiled sweetly before bending down. Their lips brushed together - it was the lightest, softest kiss. The contact filled Wipolo with wonder. It was like the soft buzzy feeling of their healing spread through his body. He felt warm and electrified, safe and untethered, freed and possessive. She shuddered as he pulled her closer, even a small separation was too much. He needed to be completely _with_ her. 

Suddenly they were not kissing as much as gasping for each other’s breath. Any space between them was too much. Her fingers dug into his back pulling him closer and closer 

His senses overwhelmed. He felt like his brain short-circuited. His vision flashed and filled with confusing images. Flashing pictures and words. His voice was strangled in his throat as he gasped. “I'm sorry.” 

Jinn drew away from him in shock.

“I didn’t want to stop.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.” He pulled her back into his arms, wrapping her into a close embrace.

“I think we both needed it to be like that.” She turned his chin so he had to look at her in the low light. “I think that was our Forces truly meeting each other.” Jinn pulled him to her for a soft kiss. Her lips drove him crazy.

“I had a vision.” He said in a strained voice. 

“What did you see?”

“Pictures like in a history book. It was so boring.”

She laughed. _I made her laugh,_ he thought. His heart felt lighter seeing her smile. Gods, she was so beautiful. Her round lips reminded him of a flower petal. 

“There were these wide circles and vases and a picture of a woman looking over her shoulder - I think that was a painting.” His hands ran over her back. 

“That doesn’t sound like a bad vision to see. Was it something from the books you’re reading?”

He shook his head. “No. I'm sorry, it doesn't matter. I’d rather see you Jinn.” He hoped he didn’t sound too weird. He took her face in his hands again. He kissed her cheeks slowly. “How old are you?”

“I’ll be 31 soon.”

“I’m 25. Is that too weird?”

“Not for me.” 

He kissed her neck. “I can't stop thinking about you.”

She tensed. “Why did you leave the medical center without saying goodbye? I was so worried about you.”

He sat up straight. “I lied to you. I wasn’t a gunner like I said. I wasn’t even supposed to be on a ship. I work on the grounds crew. I knew if you talked to my commanding officer, you’d find out.” 

She frowned. “I don’t care what you do.” _Because you’re mine now._

“The mission to Exegol was supposed to give me flight crew status - I was planning to come back to you when my lie was true.”

“You’re a lot more than flight crew. You’re powerful with the Force.”

“I - I couldn't heal until I met you. It all happened when I met you.”

She smiled her glorious smile. “I doubt that’s true.”

“I couldn’t do anything useful.” He studied her beautiful face. “I - I can hear illness, decay. But I didn’t know how to do anything about it.”

“You can move things with the Force. That's incredible. t took me years to learn that.”

“That’s nothing really.” He grinned. “Will you teach me more about healing?”

“I’d be happy to.” _Tomorrow and every single day for the rest of our lives. And then into eternity._

He is so thin and yet muscular. Her hands trace the outline of his wide shoulders that seem at odds with his boyish face. She ran her hands through his perpetually messy hair. _Mine, mine, mine. Perfect, perfect, perfect._ “I couldn’t stop thinking of you either,” she whispered. “I’ve never felt this way before.”

He angled his body so he could kiss her neck and her jaw. Gods, he had fantasized about kissing her neck. His lips traveled from her neck to her collarbone. Her sigh emboldened him and he lightly pushed aside the fabric of her shirt to kiss her shoulder. She started to feel her focus shift. Her balance tilted sideways.

"Jinn, are you OK?"

"I'm fading. I - I think I should go." When her force energy waned, she knew it was time to return to the Netherworld. Her eyes scanned over his. “I don’t want to go but-”

“I understand. It’s been a long day.” He kissed her cheeks, her chin and ended on her soft inviting lips. “I’ll see you in the morning?” 

Jinn twirled happily as she disappeared into the Netherworld.

Wipolo stared longingly after her. 

Two heartbeats later, Swans Kenobi appeared before him in the courtyard. She was carrying a pile of painted sticks. 

“Need help?” Wipolo offered.

She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Do I have something on my face?” 

Swans scrutinized him slowly. “I checked the Kyber memory crystal containing all the names of past and future force users. You are not on that list. Do you have any explanation for that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about so I’m going to say _no_.”

Swans set down the sticks and poked a finger into Wipolo’s chest. “I can almost always sense someone’s force. It’s what I do. I can’t feel yours even though you’re a powerful Force User.” 

“Sorry.”

“Are you blocking me?”

“Again. I don’t know what kind of blocking you’re talking about so I’m going to say I don’t know how to do that.”

Swans sensed a strange glimmer. “There - I can see it! You ARE lying. You are lying, lying, lying! I can tell.”

He sighed. “If I tell you the truth, will you let it go?”

She nodded. “You _are_ blocking me, aren’t you? Just admit it?”

“I’m not blocking you. I’m blocking myself. It’s a completely different skill.”

Swans was startled. She stared at the unassuming young man with wonder. “What the hell are you?”

“You said you’d let it go.”

Swans smiled sweetly. There was no way in hell she was letting this go.

“I didn’t grow up in the Netherworld of the Force like you. Having Force abilities isn’t a safe thing for everybody.” He handed her the sticks she’d dropped. He hoped she wouldn’t notice how badly his hands were shaking.

“That makes sense. But when you’re calling objects to you or healing - I should be able to feel your Force then.”

They carried the painted sticks to the Pilot’s Quarters. Swans pulled back the tent flaps and frowned at the musky odor. 

“Maybe my Force is different?” Wipolo shrugged, attempting to sound casual. He said a silent prayer that Swans would accept his explanation and let it go. He turned and walked toward Ben’s quarters. His heart was pounding so loudly, it almost sounded like there were footsteps behind him.


	14. Morning Birds

The loudass, kriffing birds woke Ren up. Again. He wondered, for a moment, if there was some other sort of creature living in the jungles of Ajan Kloss capable of making such a colossal racket. He tried to listen between their freakish squawks for the sound of Rey breathing. She must be a heavy sleeper.

He ran through his memories, trying to piece together the loose sequences. Step by step, he tried to arrange the moments into some kind of order: He had knocked Rey unconscious in the forest, he was sure of it. Her fear had been palpable. _What had happened after that? Had he gotten the map from her? Maybe he had found Luke. Maybe that’s how he’d ended up here. Luke was completely capable of fucking him up. That was probably it. He had gotten the map from her and then - why the fuck couldn't he remember?_

He _could_ remember walking with Rey in his arms, down the ramp of his ship, into the busy Starkiller Base. The ramp had been slippery and he distinctly remembered almost stumbling. He had felt extremely protective of Rey, thankful for his helmet so no one could see the emotions on his face. He had been deeply frightened she would be claimed by Snoke, torn away from his side.

 _Why had he cared so much about this Scavenger girl? Why had he had such a strange reaction to her?_ It was almost - he wasn't sure how to classify the feeling. Profound? Had he taken her to his chambers? There was nowhere safe to hide her. He couldn’t find a memory of her being in his room. _That would have been nice: her face against his stark black sheets..._ He traced his steps again. _He had taken her to an interrogation room._

A memory swept over him. She had resisted him. Of course she had. With her strength, she didn’t have to give him anything. Like a pathetic little boy, he had taken off his helmet, he had wanted her to see him. _Why had he done that?_ It wasn’t to quiet her fears, he had liked it when she was scared of him. He had wanted to be seen by her eyes. He had wanted her to like him. If he was honest with himself, he had hoped she would be as attracted to him as he was to her. He hated her for bringing out this side in him. He had not felt this weak and helpless in years. 

Was Luke responsible for all of this? The restraints, being stuck on this stupid, fucking base? He tried to fit the pieces together. Did it make sense? No. There were aspects that struck Ren as too odd. Luke would never tolerate force users like Jinn or Wipolo. He wouldn’t abide by such quiet souls. And Luke would have shown himself by now. Surely, he would have made a theatrical entrance by now.

It was probably his Mother. Leia was patient. Years of practice had turned his Mother into a formidable opponent. She would nurse him back to health, wear away at his soul, she would surround him with patient caretakers and the loudest fucking birds known to mankind. 

He struggled to cover his ears. He tuned into Rey's breathing instead. If he concentrated hard enough on their Force connection, he could see the edges of what she was dreaming about.

He closed his eyes and peered into her dream. She was walking on a craggy island. It was windy and stark. The cliffs of the small island rose up so high, like an endless path uphill. He didn't realize it at first but Rey was not walking alone on the island. He was intrigued to see himself beside her in the dream, he could feel the damp cold on his skin as his hair blew into his mouth. He sputtered, trying to face away from the wind, and saw her smiling at him. Her eyes were warm and loving. He looked down to see they were holding hands. 

He woke with tears in his eyes. He still felt cold from the island winds.


	15. Yavin 4

Captain Conunda stared blankly across the conference room table at Sola and Swans Kenobi. “I’m sorry we can’t open our databases to anyone outside the Resistance.”

“I am Resistance. We are _both_ with the Resistance.” Swans gestured to herself and her sister.

“With due respect, dating General Dameron isn’t the same as being with the Resistance.”

Sola bristled visibly.

The decorated Captain of the Fortitude disliked the two Kenobi sisters equally. She estimated that half the pilots on base had been ‘recruited’ by Swans. Which was to say that they had been brainwashed into joining after meeting her in a bar. It felt sleazy to Dreanna, who looked down on women who used their looks to promote their agendas. She couldn’t help but gawk at Swan’s heavy black eyeliner and shiny lipstick. _Who wore that stuff on a base?_

Her eyes shifted to Sola Kenobi. Dreanna scanned the woman’s pretty, childlike face and light blond hair. She refused to believe this creature was the offspring of General Obi-Wan Kenobi. _He_ was a legendary war hero but Sola was clearly a monster. There were several barbaric videos on the holonet of Sola in combat situations. They called her ‘The Decapitator’. Even worse, General Poe Dameron seemed to be enamored with her. It was disgusting. 

Conunda cleared her throat. “Swans?”

“Lieutenant Kenobi.” Swans corrected her, knowing the woman _would_ respond to rank.

“Lieutenant Kenobi, what is your interest in Wipolo Nagg? He is a hard-working young man.”

Swans clicked into military mode. “Captain Conunda, I have nothing but the highest respect for Ensign Wipolo Nagg but he is currently working on a highly sensitive project and, as such, we need to vett him to ensure he is not a security risk.”

Poe hurried into the meeting. “Conunda, you wanted me to sign off on something?” He glanced at the name on the folder Captain Conunda was clutching protectively to her chest. “Oh yeah, Wipolo. We want him stationed semi-permanently on Ajan Kloss.”

“That’s supposed to be classified.” Sola reminded him in a cold voice. 

Poe flashed a grin. “Oops. My mistake. We are thinking about stationing him _somewhere_ and that _somewhere_ is likely to be Ajan Kloss. Captain, can you leave the file with us? I’ll hand-deliver it to you in an hour? Thanks, Conunda. Keep up the good work.” He called to her as she left without saying goodbye. 

The door slammed behind her and Poe scooted closer to Sola, inhaling her soft perfume. “You look so beautiful.” He nuzzled her neck happily. When she leaned into him, he kissed her cheeks, letting her soothing presence wash over him. After her initial decapitation video was made public, Sola had retrained as a Jedi Healer, specializing in soothing anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Being with her made Poe’s stress level manageable. Plus he found himself falling deeply in love with her strategic mind, strange personality, and ethereal beauty.

“Can you see me tonight?” Poe asked with a dazzling smile.

Swans cleared her throat. “Could you two plan your hookup schedule later and get back to Wipolo?”

“OK, OK.” Poe opened Conunda’s folder. Nothing much there. “He wasn’t officially on flight crew but volunteered for the Battle of Exegol’s ground invasion. Blah, blah, blah. He served as a gunner, handled himself well, and upon return, Conunda helped him file paperwork to get official flight crew status.”

“What was he before?” Sola tried to read over his shoulder.

“Grounds crew, maintenance.”

Swans turned to Sola. “Huh?” 

Poe opened up his laptop and typed into the Resistance Database. He frowned, scanning the file. “That’s weird.”

“What’s weird?” Swans squinted. 

He turned the screen for her to read. “The palm print when he applied for Flight Crew doesn’t match the one from when he was in the hospital.”

“Like the medical center where Jinn works? Why did they have his palm print there?” 

“His condition was critical when he came in so they opened a morgue file on him.” Poe clicked the original palm print. “I’m gonna check both of them against the galactic crime base.” He paused, letting the security cross-check program run. “Oh good. Whoever of these palm prints, at least we know neither of them is a criminal.” He grinned at Sola. “That’s good right?”

Sola returned his smile. He squeezed her arm, momentarily distracted by her beauty. “Oh wait. That’s weird.”

“Fucking-hell Poe, stop saying _that’s weird_. What is it?”

He pointed to the first palm print. “Um, it says Wipolo Nagg died 11 years ago. He was 16.”


	16. Proposal

Sola was sitting in Poe’s bed, reading his report on the Exegol battle. It needed some revision to make it believable

Poe swallowed hard. He stared at her, wondering what to think. She was so slight and delicate looking, her blond hair fell in her eyes as she looked up at him. He was enchanted by her. But he was also fearful. He had witnessed her terrorize one of the Knights of Ren, taunting him with his own severed finger.

  
Sola smoothed back her hair. “I came to tell you I’m going to help Rey on Arjan Kloss for a couple days.”

“You - you won’t be here at night?“ Poe stammered. He had grown accustomed to her presence even though he didn’t manage to stay awake for very long.

  
“I’m not sure yet.” Her smile was shy. “Do you like it when I visit at night?”

  
He’d meant to say, _Yes, I’d like you to visit me._ He meant to say a hundred different things. But instead he blurted out, “I’d like you to marry me.”

  
She regarded him seriously. “This again?”

Poe nodded. “I have a ring.” He took off the chain he wore around his neck bearing his mother’s wedding ring. He dropped down on one knee.

  
Sola looked around, confused. “What are you doing?”

  
“I’m proposing. Kneeling is customary.“

”Well, all right. Go right ahead.“

"Sola uh-"  
  
"Kenobi." She corrected helpfully.  
  
"Sola Kenobi, will you marry me?"  
  
"I’m only interested in a monogamous relationship, Poe. No offense but that seems like a stretch for you."  
  
"I only want you."  
  
"All right. If you think you’re up for it. I do think you would make a good partner for me. I expect you to love me."  
  
"I do. I love you. Wholeheartedly." Poe beamed. "Where do you want to get married? I could reserve hall here or anywhere really. We could have Beaumont or somebody marry us."  
  
"You’re a general, I’m a Kenobi. We don’t need someone else to marry us." Sola scolded. “If we say we’re married, then we’re married."  
  
Poe stared into Sola’s soft, gentle eyes. He had never been so sure of anything in his life. Good gods, he hoped she didn’t kill him.  
  
"Sola, I want to marry you."  
  
"Poe Dameron, Son of Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, I want to marry you."  
  
Poe scooped Sola into his arms. He felt light-headed as his lips brushed against her cheek. For her safety, he immediately set her back down and leaned against the wall. She wrapped her arms around him to steady his dizziness. Her fingers laced through the hair at the back of his neck, making his hands tremble. She began unbuttoning his shirt and his whole body began to shake. Sola fixed him with a knowing stare and ran a finger down his neck. A wave of all encompassing relaxation washed over him, allowing him to focus on slowly pressing his lips to hers. One of his calloused hand cupped her face while the other reached under her shirt. When he stroked the side of her breast, he could sense the lights dim. Poe sat down on the bed, realizing he was going to pass out.

  
Moments later, when he came to, Sola was straddling him, studying him curiously. She was fully clothed but had unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a dark blue bra and that set off her pale skin. “Are you ready to consummate our marriage? You have a meeting in 45 minutes."

  
His smile was glorious. She had never seen him look so handsome. He unhooked her bra with ease and started to unbutton her pants until she helped him by kicking them off to the side. He looked up at Sola in awe. In a flash of intuition, it occurred to him that she was a virgin.

  
"You’ve never had sex?"  
  
"Not with another life form, no."  
  
"Was I your first kiss?"  
  
"Yes, just now, before you passed out. But I do know how sex works. My sister Swans has described it in detail. I believe I am fully capable." She removed the amber crystal from her neck. “Let’s try again without this."  
  
Poe remembered seeing her take it off on Exegol. "What does that do?"  
  
"It helps subdue my emotions. I will be less in control of myself but maybe you won’t pass out.” She suddenly looked worried. “Now how does it work if I’m on top? Should I be doing something?”

”Sola Dameron, please allow me to be of assistance.” He gently rolled her onto her back and kissed her eyelids softly.


	17. Honeymoon

Poe breathed a sigh of relief when he woke to find Sola in his room.

Her smile was different, intimate and sweet. In a million years, he had never imagined himself marrying a virgin. Poe couldn't remember ever being with a virgin in the vast span of his sex life. He had gone slow, trying to read how his touches affected her, moving slower or faster, harder or softer depending on her reactions. Her face was burned into his mind: her surprised expression when he had entered her, the way she'd gasped, her lips rounding into a moan, her cries as she came and her momentary confusion as he emptied himself into her.

“I’m glad you stayed the night.” 

“You don't have a meeting for two hours. Consider this our honeymoon. There’s caf by your bed. I think you should switch to tea in the future. It's the customary drink on the majority of worlds you must routinely visit and I’m concerned your teeth will stain. Your smile is one of your best facial features.“

He sat up and drank gratefully.

“Are you really Leia’s sister?“

“Stepsister.”

  
“Vader had more kids?“

“No. We have the same mother actually, Padme Amidala. After her death, Master Qui Gon taught her how to commune with my father. I was born on the other side in the Netherworld of the Force.”

Poe frowned. “Um, how?”

“The Force yields many miracles.” Sola touched the amber crystal around her neck. “Like this - it soothes you.”

 _“You_ soothe me. I feel calmer just looking at you. I feel calmer knowing we are married.” He was startled to see the ring he had given her on the nightstand. 

“It doesn’t fit. I gave it back.”

“I’ll fix it or get you a new one.“

“I want that one. My father wears a ring to match my mother’s. Would you like to do that?”

“Absolutely.” Poe could hardly believe he had married the daughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi, step-sister of Leia and Luke Skywalker. He was related to Ben Solo now. _Was he his uncle?_

“I’m sorry I fell asleep.” He lunged out of bed to where she sat on his couch. He trapped her, an arm on either side of her. She sighed softly as he kissed her neck.

He reached out and took her small hand. “I wish I could tell Leia about us. I wish I could talk to her again.”

“What is it you’d like to say?” Sola whispered. She liked the way it felt to hold his hand.

“Why did Leia choose me?”

Sola smiled. “That’s an easy one. There weren’t a lot of good choices.”

Disappointment flickered across Poe’s face.

Perhaps she could have framed that better? Her father was always telling her to ‘ _make sure the first draft stays inside your head’._

She started over. “Your mother was a pilot with the resistance so you understand duty and sacrifice.” She tried touching her fingertips to his. Stroking his knuckles slowly. 

Poe sighed at her touch. “I fucked up so many times. It only worked because Leia was there to reel me back in and put me in my place.“

Sola touched his temple with her free hand, closing her eyes. Reading minds was not her strength. “You miss her?”

“Of course. Everybody does.”

“But you thought of her as a mother, didn’t you? I doubt she discouraged that. You were everything she dreamed her own son would be.”

“I’m glad Ben is healing.”

Sola nodded. “Thank you for ensuring his safety. You didn’t have to help him. I know he tortured you. That will _never_ EVER happen under my watch. If anyone attempts to harm you, I will sever their arteries with pride.”

And there it was, the frightening side of Sola. He had married a fierce warrior. If he was honest with himself, he was more than a little frightened of her.

“I am concerned about you during the time of transition. The Resistance is at a critical juncture.”

Poe frowned thinking of the mountains of paperwork, the decisions he was being asked to make that he didn’t understand. “I don’t know what to do. Maybe you could ask Leia for me? Or do you have any ideas?” 

Sola’s smile was blinding. “I’m so happy you asked.” She brushed her fingers through his hair, he was starting to get gray hairs. It was adorable but perhaps not a sign of perfect health. “The Resistance is a military organization, but it’s not built like one, it lacks infrastructure. All these years, the Rebellion has been a cause, a moral position. It needs to be a career and an industry. You’re a leader because you’re passionate about the resistance but all these surrendering storm troopers and First Order officers just need a job. A way to have a life. If we don’t give them a job someone else will. We need to offer a better option than the underworld. You need building projects.”

Poe reached out and hugged her. Even without the crystal, he felt profoundly soothed. 

Over the next hour, they sketched out plans for seven small Alliance bases on hospitable planets along trade routes. Each base would have a space port, roads, adequate plumbing, sewage, farms, hospital and schools. Building the infrastructure would provide work for all the surrendering troopers and the spaceports would eventually be profitable. Schools, real housing and hospitals would encourage long term settlement and a spirit of independence. Sola drafted a system of pairing experienced members of the Resistance with younger First Order officers to run the bases for 2 year periods. 

“You’re brilliant.” Poe whispered. “You’d make a great General.”

Tears sprang to Sola’s eyes. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” She smiled ruefully knowing the Jedi Council of the Netherworld would freeze her in carbonite if she ever tried. 


	18. Eye Contact

Keylo Ren could feel his Force returning. It was like a shift of air pressure at first and then grew. _Could they tell? How could he hide it?_

Wipolo came to help him go to the fresher. He reached out to sense the young man’s Force and felt nothing. That was odd. Wipolo was a strong Force user and he could feel no trace of energy. He had overheard discussion of Wipolo’s Force signature being strange, perhaps being on a different level. 

“The Force Drain is wearing off, isn’t it?” Wipolo spoke quietly. 

Ren wanted to smack the concerned expression off his face. 

“Are you going to tell on me?”

“Of course. But it might take me a little while so enjoy it while you can.”

A smile. That fucker was always smiling. It was contagious. Even when Ren was day dreaming about killing everyone, that jerk’s smile had an effect on him. 

“Did you want to take a shower? 

Ren nodded and watched with amazement as Wipolo called objects to him through the Force. A towel and toiletries shot into his hands. He was equal parts jealous and simultaneously impressed.

“I’m sorry I can’t allow you to shave. Razor and all.”

Ren hadn’t thought of it but that would have been a good plan.

Wipolo positioned Ren’s wheelchair underneath the shower so he could wash himself. The simple dignity of privacy and being able to take care of himself had an effect on him. He was exhausted from the effort but it was worth it. After the shower, he felt like a new person. 

Wipolo didn’t wheel him back to his quarters right away, instead taking him around the perimeter of the base. 

Rey could hear the two arguing playfully about birds. 

“I wonder if I could Force Choke a bird?”

“That might be the least responsible use of the Force I’ve ever heard of.” Wipolo chuckled.

“How is it all _that_ different than using a slingshot?”

“Because the bird wouldn’t be harmed if you used a slingshot since you’d miss a hundred times in a row. Then you’d get mad and break the slingshot and probably a chair.”

“Wow. You’re mean.”

“Oh yeah, _I’m_ the mean one.”

“How did you know I break chairs?”

Wipolo laughed. “You should look yourself up on the holonet sometime. ‘Kylo Ren temper tantrum’ is its own channel.”

Rey was sitting in the room when he returned. She had rehearsed a speech while he’d been in the shower but her resolve wavered seeing him smile. He looked like her Ben when he smiled. With a sharp intake of breath, she was overwhelmed by how much she missed him.

Ren could tell she had something to say. He trained his eyes on the space directly behind her. It was too hard to think straight when he looked into her eyes.

Over his fifteen years with Snoke, he had learned the fine art of looking _toward_ but not _directly at_ someone. Enduring long lectures, mind games, torture and endless insults from his Master had made it necessary. Real eye contact was dangerous for him. Too much of Ren’s weakness was on display when Snoke looked into his eyes. 

Rey sat next to him on the bed. She was too close. He wanted to grab her and push her away. Or just grab her.

She looked sadder than he’d ever seen her. “I can’t make you remember. I can’t make you care about me. Or anything. I won’t be charged with the task of taming your demons.”

“Even when I’m hurting you -“ he stopped himself, reconsidering his words. “You want to believe there is still light in me.”

“I know there is." She whispered.

His eyes remained fixed on the wall behind her head. "What if you're wrong?" 

"It has broken through before.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “You _did_ love me.”

“Maybe if you gave me back my force, I could feel it.”

She gave him a withering look. They sat in exhausted silence. 

Ren wondered if Wipolo was coming back soon. He was starving but he didn’t want to tell Rey. Asking for her help might actually kill him. He wanted to to be an asshole and order her around. Scream until she left him alone but he wasn’t sure he wanted her to leave him.

Ren hated this part of himself. Weak, needy, being pulled like a puppet toward someone stronger. There had always been someone stronger. His Mother, Luke, Snoke and now her. The scavenger girl’s power over him was infuriating.

He wanted to break everything in sight. He reached out with his force to grab something, anything. His water cup slid into his hand. _Did she notice that_? His senses were still off. The Force was detached from him like the chain to an anchor. _How had this happened? Who had drained his Force? How could he repair something so deep?_

She occupied a space in his mind filled with ache. Everything he has tried to cast aside, desire, loneliness, the shackles of attachment. Once it started that day in the forest, the longing for her had become his constant companion. It was relentless and pointless. 

She turned away from him to wipe away tears. _Gods, she was pretty._ Her hair was in two tight braids today. She smelled like candy again. _How can she smell this good in the middle of this kriffing jungle?_ His eyes roamed over the curves and angles of her body. His mind drifted to the explicit images she'd sent through their force connection. Were they his memories now, jarred into existence by visual reference? Did she think about him as much as he thought about her? Maybe he had given into his baser needs for the sake of self preservation. If he fucked her, got that ugly urge out of the way, he wouldn’t waste every waking moment obsessing over her. 

But he knew better. If he started touching her, he would never want to stop.


	19. Eternity

Leia sat on the rocky shoreline of Nooma Lake in the fading afternoon sun. The weather of the Netherworld of the Force was consistent: sunny, temperate and clear. It was gorgeous and far too predictable for Leia’s taste. For a woman who had spent decades running from Rebel base to base, paradise was mind numbing. 

This was the part of the Netherworld Leia liked best. This end of the lake was always windy and slightly chaotic. The waves battered at the rocky shore, the mist saturating the air. She breathed in deeply, feeling her healthy lungs expand. Pain and fatigue were no longer her constant companion. 

She liked her existence in the Netherworld, the peace, the joy of family. But her bones ached for unpredictability of the Outerworld. She still woke up in the middle of the night in a state of panic, her mind racing with concerns for her fleet and the soldiers under her command. It was hard to let go of the Resistance. She had been enmeshed in the day to day operations since she was a teenager. But It was no longer her battle. She had left the Resistance in good hands

She would be a grandmother soon. Her toes curled up with excitement at the thought of holding Ben’s child-to-be. She had not been prepared for motherhood. She had been busy with the Galactic Senate and always felt torn between the endless responsibilities and her son’s needs. The early years, when Han was around more, had been manageable. Her memories of Ben’s school years were more painful. He had trouble sleeping and would often end up on the couch beside her, trying to fall asleep as he watched her working into the night. 

She had hoped against hope that Han would be changed by fatherhood. She wanted their son to be enough for him. Foolishly, she had thought that having a child would somehow fill in the missing gaps in their relationship but it only magnified their problems. Their marriage had been his gift to her - he wanted to prove his love by giving her what she wanted. But it wasn’t what he wanted or who he was. Over time, Han had gravitated away from her. He wanted to be with people who appreciated his carefree attitude and generous spirit not resented him for it. It took her a much longer time to realize that she didn’t want to be married to him either. 

“Beating yourself up OK on your own or do you require assistance.” Mace Windu appeared before Leia, a knowing smile played across his expressive face. 

“I was always good at setting aside my personal problems but now that I have eternity to deal with them, I’m finding that I’d rather not.”

Mace sat down beside her. “Solo?”

“Nowhere to be found.” She said with resignation. “He’ll show up eventually, appear at the perfect time to help Ben.”

“But you need him too?”

“I needed him 15 years ago. I learned to make do without him.”

Mace smiled warmly. “Of course you did. You did a damn fine job of being Leia Organa.”

“Thank you.” She smiled as Mace took her hand in his own. “I’m not into butterflies if that’s where you’re heading with this.”

He scooted closer to her. “I wasn’t asking you to talk about butterflies, young lady.”

Her grin was radiant. “Who are you calling _young_?”

“General, I’d like to take you for a walk tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’m going to see my son tomorrow.”

“Any progress with Ben Solo’s memory?”

“We’ll see. I’m pretty good at provoking a reaction in my son.”

He liked her confidence. “Yes. I can imagine you are.”

“How about a walk now, Master Windu?”

“No time like the present.”

Leia stood up and brushed off her long white dress. "Will you tell me more about my step sisters?"

Mace looked up at the blue sky. "Where to even begin? If I wasn't already deceased, those Kenobi girls would have been the death of me."

  
  



	20. Master Qui Gon

Qui-Gon opened his door to Swans. "Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome." Her tone was flat. She wouldn’t allow her voice to reveal her emotions. 

He gestured for her to sit beside him on the low couch. She stared at him astonished. "You cut your hair?"

"I thought it was time for a change."

"You look younger too." She was suspicious. She didn't like this one bit.

"I’m giving up my Jedi title."

"Because of us? Did somebody find out?"

He place his hand over hers. "Last night was a gift."

She put her hand over her mouth. She felt sick. How often had she used that same line? He was letting her down easily, trying to dump her with dignity. Swans remembered what he’d said about Tahl, the only woman he’d truly loved. "Are - are you leaving to become one with the Force or something? Because of me?"

"No. It's our relationship -"

'Wait - what?" She interrupted. "I thought it was just sex."

"Was it just physical for you?" 

'Maybe." She turned away from him, she couldn't breathe.

"Swans? Are you OK?"

She wanted to say _I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen_. There hasn’t been a day when I didn’t think about you. "I can’t breath. I think I’m going to pass out." She dug her nails into the palm of her hand. He was about to dump her. It was over. She put her head between her knees. It was one thing for him not care about her, for it to be one sided - but the idea of not being with him at all shook her down to her very core. She hoped she could make it home without sobbing.

"Are you alright? Swans?" Try as he might, she blocked his efforts to connect to her consciousness. 

Her hands were pressed over her eyes. "I-I think my mind is going to short circuit." She got up to leave. _That was it - she would leave! He couldn't break up with her if she wasn't there._

Her hand was on the door. "I should go."

"No." His arms were on either side of her, trapping her against the door. Qui Gon’s large hand slipped to the back of her neck. He gently willed her to look at him. "Please tell me what you are thinking."

She swallowed hard. Breath, breath. Damn it, she was a Kenobi, she could face this. "You don’t love me. Not like I love you. It's OK. I know you can’t help it. It’s not your fault, I understand the Jedi mindset and its limitations."

He released her and took a step back. "My limitations?"

Swans forced herself to look into his eyes. "You fantasized about sex with me and I was so excited that you were interested in me that I let my feelings get mixed up in what was happening. It wasn't fair to you. You're a Jedi. You value honor, discipline, and self-control. In the long term, being a Jedi isn't consistent with sleeping with someone just to satisfy your sexual urges."

"Last night, I realized I don’t want to sleep in a bed without you ever again."

"Wait - what?"

"Swans, let me be perfectly clear, I fantasize about having sex with you but I also fantasize about waking up with you every day, doing the dishes, starting a family. He stroked the sides of her face, I know what I want." He opened his mind to hers, the connection flooded with carnal and romantic visions. His body leaned into her, his leg nudged between hers. "I know what I want." He repeated, his voice low. 

She shook her head. "But you don't love me."

"Swans Kenobi, you think you know my mind so well?" His voice was low and angry. He grabbed her hand roughly and put her hand to his heart. "You think I’m incapable of loving you? Just fucking try me."

He leaned in, crushing her body against the door as he kissed her. He opened his force to her, pushing waves of hopeless devotion and pure love into their connection 

"I love you Swans. Please tell me that you understand that I am telling you the truth."

She nodded, astonished. 

Qui Gon breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, do you love me? Yes or no?"

She nodded again.

"Good. That settles that." He pulled her onto the couch with him, settling her on his lap. His arms wrapped around her. "I want to get our own house nearer to your family but still far enough away that they won’t hear you scream during sex."

Swans' smile was radiant. "We could sound proof our bedroom?"


	21. Confession

Qui Gon lashed a force tether onto Obi-Wan’s leg and ignited his lightsaber. 

“This again?” Obi Wan groaned. “I know what you’re going to say: _Obi-Wan, in battle, we do not always have the luxury of free movement_.” 

Qui Gon sighed heavily flicked off his lightsaber and sat down before his friend cross legged. “I must confess, Swan is in love with me.”

Obi-Wan had long seen this coming. On Exegol, he had seen them speaking to one another, holding hands.

“Swans has always had a crush on you.”

“It’s more than that, I’m afraid. My feelings for her run deep. I am in love with her as well.”

Obi-Wan turned off his lightsaber. The room was too quiet. “Swans grew up calling you Uncle. Does that _not_ disturb you?”

“Not particularly. Oh, I should probably tell you that I relinquished my title of Jedi this morning.”

“What?! I don’t recall hearing of a meeting called by the Jedi Council.”

“There wasn’t one. I told Yoda, that’s enough for me.”

“I went through a formal inquiry!”

“Well you were _alive_ and a knight. The stakes were much higher. I can’t imagine anyone cares if I’m a Jedi anymore. I’m just poor old Qui Gon, cut down in his prime.”

Obi-Wan was dumbfounded. He had always thought of his master as a proud figure, a natural leader, his personal inspiration. 

Unable to find words, Obi-Wan sat down across from his former master and bowed his head. Qui Gon stared down at him with affection. After a moment, he returned the bow.

Obi-Wan leaned back against the wall. “It was hard those years, living without you. Your death shut me down.”

Qui Gon watched his former Padawan silently.

“Every time something good happened, it felt flat because you weren’t there.”

“You did a fine job without me.”

“I didn’t. I was short tempered and impatient with Anakin.” Obi-Wan confessed.

“You didn’t get to choose your Padawan. You inherited him. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“To be truthful it hurt that your last words, _and_ Padme’s for that matter, were about Anakin. I was the one who was there but _all_ anyone could think about is Anakin’s welfare.”

Qui Gon nodded thoughtfully. “I had not considered how my words might have hurt you.”

“I resented him and kept him at arm's length when he needed encouragement. He became desperate for positive affirmation and The Emperor -“

“Obi-Wan, The Emperor was going to have Anakin one way or another. There wasn’t much you could do.”

“Well I didn’t need to make it so damn easy for him.”

Obi-Wan turned his lightsaber over and over in his hands. “Those years without you almost killed me. I don’t want to be without you again.”

“I will never leave you Obi-Wan. You are the best friend I could ever imagine. You _are_ my family.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Are you sure you love Swans? She can be awfully mean.”

Qui Gon laughed. “I’m lucky she cares for me. Her force is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. She has your bravery and Padme’s heart.”

“Dear Gods, all right then. It’s your turn for the force tether.” He lashed his Force around Qui Gon’s ankle. 

Qui Gon looked down at the Force tether holding his ankle “Would like me to pretend like you’re doing well? I _could_ let you win?”

“Yes. That seems like the least you could do.”

  
  
  



	22. Testing

Swans strode purposefully across the courtyard towards Wipolo. She held up a testing kit. “Let’s get this over with.” 

Wipolo didn’t move a muscle. “What do you have there?”

“You’re going to have to take a midi-chlorian test.”

“I don’t think so.” His quiet voice was stern.

“I wasn’t asking. New orders, if you want to stay here on the base, you have to take one.”

“I’d love to see a copy of that order.” Wipolo spoke slowly. 

“I don’t have it on me.” Swans bluffed. 

“Shocker. So, you want to give me a test that self reports to an independent lab? Are you sure about that one? You’re going to give one to Rey and Ben? You don’t want to attract that kind of attention.” 

Swans scowled. “Do you want me to ask Jinn to administer the test?”

Wipolo fixed her with a harsh look and the test kit shot out of her hand, sailing off into the distance. 

Swans reached into her bag. “It came in a ten pack.”

Her bag burst into flames. 

“Oh my gods, what’s wrong with you? That was a nice backpack! My lipstick was in there!” 

Only then did Swans notice that despite his outwardly calm demeanor, Wipolo’s hands were shaking.

She was suddenly and inexplicably frightened. “Who are you?”

“I’m Ensign Wipolo Nagg with the Resistance Army.” Wipolo was eerily calm.

Swans backed away slowly. She needed to talk to her Father. This was more than she could handle on her own.

  
  



	23. Force Drain

Ren’s eyes darted around the room. He was pretending to be asleep but when Rey’s back was turned, he watched her dress after her shower. She had the loveliest ass in the galaxy. He struggled to stay silent as her back arched while she pulled her hair into three tight buns.

He had noticed that she didn’t own a lot of clothes. She pulled on functional but nonetheless sexy gray underwear and a light undershirt. This was his favorite item of all her clothing. It was so sheer that he could clearly see her juicy pink nipples through the fabric. 

She looked up and he closed his eyes tightly. Had she noticed him watching her?

"If you want to look at me, then look at me. Quit pretending to be asleep."

He sat up, startled. "Me?" He tried to look offended. 

"Just stop. Your erection gave you away." She pulled on pants and her long belted vest. He watched her check her hair in the rooms broken mirror and dab some sort of pink cosmetic onto her lips and cheeks.

"You smell nice." His voice sounded hollow. "Like the candy I used to have as a child." 

"It's the same shampoo I’ve always used. You never mentioned it before." She sent a pulsing image through their force connection. In the memory, they were kissing in the shower. His breath hitched trying to imagine how the memory ended.

Rey glanced pointedly at his growing hardness. "Put that thing away, we have a guest." 

Ren sat straight up. _Was his mother here?_

→ →  
  
“Do you feel his Force returning?” A man’s voice asked outside his quarters. 

“Yes.”

Ren recognized the Coruscant accent as the man who trained with Rey on basic forms. 

“Can you be sure it will return all the way?” She sounded worried.

Ren was confused. _Why would she care if his force returned?_

“Oh absolutely. A Force Drain merely skims the surface. It grows back. I tested it out on Anakin and he was back to normal by the following morning. But Anakin is Anakin and he probably recovered faster just to spite me.”

Ren wondered at the voice. Who were they talking about? The only Anakin he knew was Skywalker, dead for 30 years.

→ →

Obi-Wan reached out through the force, taking inventory of the world around him. The jungle, the birds, blood thirsty Mohsenians in the distant forest, Rey’s steady strength, the deeply rattled energy of Keylo Ren. Without his memory, Keylo Ren was fairly manageable - like Anakin on a bad day. With the stability Rey brought him, his powers were staggering.

In reality, Obi-Wan was more concerned with the wiry dark haired boy who was folding towels in the corner of the courtyard. Every living thing had some energy so why didn't he?

Wipolo Nagg was an unsettling problem. The man himself was charming and seemed to thoroughly adore his daughter Jinn. On his own, he had promise but paired with Jinn, he was a powerful healer. Wipolo had told Swans he was blocking himself - he examined the situation from several angles. There was no way around it, Force Blocking was an extremely troubling skill. The effort should be exhausting him but there he was smiling away peacefully. Obi-Wan felt slightly ill thinking about what Yoda had told him. Those who mastered Force Blocking had all been Sith.

→ →

Ren looked up as Wipolo stacked up clean towels in his room. “What’s going on out there?”

“They’re wondering about me.”

Ren frowned, a little put off to not be the center of attention. “Because of your lack of Force Signature?”

“Something like that?”

“Why are they _so_ worried?”

“Because they should be.”

Before Ren had a chance to make sense of Wipolo’s statement, a distinguished man with reddish hair suddenly stepped into his room. He was dressed like Luke in old fashioned Jedi clothes. On appearances alone, he hated the man.

“Who are you?”

“Oh, I believe you know.” 

“An useless outdated remnant of an soon to be extinct order?”

The man’s eyes sparkled with merriment. How the Kriff was anyone this happy? 

“What would it accomplish if the Jedi were eradicated? Wiped out and extinguished?”

“The end of mysticism, corruption, magic, hypocrisy, hubris. The end of romanticizing the past.”

“Soooo, no positives then?” The older man's eyes crinkled in the corners, he was clearly amused 

“Who are you?!”

“I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi. You were named after me, I believe.”

“You’re joking.”

“Not at all.”

“That leaves me with several possibilities: you’re dead, you’re lying or I’m dreaming.” 

“Let me know Which choice you’re leaning toward. Please take some time to mull it over. Don’t rush on my account.”

Ren knew in the lurching pit of his stomach he was not dealing with an impostor. He sat thinking this over. “Force ghost?”

“I like the term Force Spirit better. A ghost seems so _intangible_.”

“You knew my grandfather then.” 

“Oh yes, he was my Padawan. We spent many years fighting side by side in the Clone Wars. He was a brilliant tactician and a fine leader. I valued his friendship and bravery.” 

Ren frowned reflexively. He wondered if anyone had ever called him brave. It was a meaningless word in the First Order. Subservience, compliant, obedient. Bravery implied individuality, deviation from expected norms. Jealousy tugged at him as he thought of his grandfather.

“How old was Vader when-”

Obi-Wan interrupted. “I don’t like to speak of Vader. He was a puppet on Palpatine’s string. My friend Anakin lost a war within himself. The Emperor twisted and pulled him along a path until he broke. Vader was the result of that fracture.”

Ren tried to hide his interest but Obi-Wan read the look on his face. “You’re thinking about Snoke and the way he has treated you. The way he twisted your emotions.”

Ren was silent, meeting Obi-Wan’s eyes with an angry glare.

“Dear boy, I know all about Snoke. You may not remember _much_ about the past but when you do, this cloud of despair _will_ lift from your eyes. You will see clearly.”

Ren’s mind raced. All these people he was supposed to know. The relationships he couldn’t recall, the annoying chattering friend - how much had he forgotten?

“I thought we agreed _not_ to upset him!” Rey snapped from across the room.

“My apologies. I must work on my diplomacy.” Obi-Wan’s eyes twinkled. "Well, let's get down to business _Kylo Ren_."

The old fashioned Jedi placed a hand on Ren’s temple and he instantly fell into a deeply relaxed sleep.


	24. Fluttery Presence

Keylo Ren had the strangest dream. He was himself but somehow different: lighter, happier and at ease with himself. There was a fluttery presence with him, next to his side but not visible. It was a face unknown to him but she was not a stranger. He woke with tears in his eyes, being separated from the fluttery being caused him physical pain that could not be offset. He wanted to crush something, he wanted to rip the world apart to get back to her. 

Instinctively he looked for Rey. She would make this empty feeling go away. He struggled to sit up. Feeling his muscles ache with effort, he rolled on his side and propped himself up. Rey was nowhere to be seen. Rage rose to the top of his brain. He fought the urge to scream her name. Ren reminded himself that he didn’t need her. _He didn’t need anyone._ The only person he could count on was himself. He was an idiot for wanting her. How would that help anything? 

→ →

“Can you miss someone you don’t remember?” He asked Wipolo as he wheeled him to the shower.

“Your body remembers her.” 

Ren scowled. “When I get my memory back, I might have to kill you.” 

Wipolo stared at him for a moment. Weighing his words. “You’re too curious about me.”

“You’re right, I am. You don’t make sense to me.” 

“I don’t make sense to myself either.” Wipolo spoke softly. “Your Aunts are confused by me too." 

"My Aunts?"

"Leia’s sisters."

Rey stood outside the fresher, listening in.

"My mother doesn’t have sisters." Ren was starting to panic. 

"Step sisters. They’re Padme’s daughters with Obi-Wan."

"That’s impossible. They’re dead."

"Nobody talked to you about this?" Wipolo turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up.

"No!"

Wipolo smiled. "Look at how well you’re sitting up. Oh maybe they’re waiting to tell you until you remember more."

"I don’t want to remember a bunch of Leias!" Ren's voice was starting to get sharper.

"Watch out. You’re talking about my girlfriend."

"Wait - what? Jinn is Leia’s sister? That doesn’t make sense because -" His voice faded out as he thought it through - it did make sense. They looked alike. And Ren was sure Leia was behind this whole operation.

"And you should be trying harder to remember, _she_ needs you."

"She doesn’t need me." Ren hissed.

"I’m not talking about Rey."

Ren was silent, cut down by his words. It was true. Not saying the words kept it unreal, a book on a shelf he could choose to ignore. He felt dizzy. 

"Your baby needs her mother to be happy." 

Ren considered this statement. Rey was miserable because he didn't remember their relationship. Every day was hurting her, everyday she was growing more resigned and sad. 

"Your daughter will have a hard enough life."

"Why do you say that?" 

"Because of who you are." 

"What do you know about me?"

"I know what everybody knows. You’re famous. You have the highest bounty on your head of anyone in history."

He hadn’t thought about safety. All the people who hated him would hate her. She would inherit his enemies. He would insist on round the clock guards. He would have to build a fortress - where could she be safe? They would have to escape to Wild Space. They would have to go somewhere Snoke couldn’t find them. 

His mind was spinning as Wipolo left him under the warm shower.


	25. Age 27

Anakin didn’t dare move. He and Starlings Kenobe sat huddled together on the chilly cliff on Kef Bir. While they discussed the Clone Wars, she had scooted closer and closer toward him. He hated seeing her shiver but being close to her felt amazing.

The strangeness of the situation was not lost on him. Starlings was Padme’s and Obi-Wan’s daughter - his ex-wife and his best friend. Through the strange fluidity of the Netherworld of the Force, age was of no importance. He could appear as any age he wanted so he chose to be the same age as Starlings. 

She was 27, an age he couldn’t ever remember being. He had turned to the darkside at age 22 and his life after that had been a sickening descent. Kept alive in a life support suit of armor, his day to day life was focused around maintaining his putrid body and serving the Emperor. He had hated not having control over his body, the colostomy bag, the catheter infections, the rotting flesh smell of the inside of his armor. Being reborn intact in the Netherworld had been an unexpected miracle. He didn’t think he deserved it.

His discussions with Starlings had not gotten beyond his time as a Jedi and he was grateful for that. She asked hundreds of questions, taking careful notes, prompting him to relive events over and over. It was pleasant for now but he dreaded the progression through his personal timeline. He doubted she would want to rest her head on his shoulder after he recited his litany of crimes. 

He had not had physical contact like this since his turn to the darkside. The simple pleasure of touch had blown his mind. Feeling her foot rest against his, the smell of her skin. Yesterday, he had brushed his lips against her hair. He had done it so lightly that he wasn’t sure if she’d noticed. 

He wasn’t sure how long she would tolerate him. He couldn’t be sure that she liked him at all. Rumor was that Starlings was asexual. He remembered that Padme’s older sister had been as well - she had mated for the sake of having children but had never been interested in romantic relationships of any kind. 

Starlings had sought him out, he reminded himself. This was the third day she had come to sit beside him.

He tucked the blanket tightly around her feet. “Do you want to leave? You’re shivering.” 

“I am enjoying our conversation.” She whispered through chattering teeth.

“I come here to be alone with my past, you don’t need to suffer the cold with me.”

Starlings pulled back slightly to look at him. She was so beautiful, her cheeks were pink from the cold and her wide eyes matched the color of Kef Bir’s violent sea. “You don’t know why I’m here, do you?”

“No. I don’t understand you at all. I don’t know why you’d want to spend any time with me.”  
  


She studied his face, like a road map. His features were androgynous with round lips and a small, straight nose. He looked idiotic when he tried to scowl or look serious. His face was made to smile. She liked that he often looked bored when he was trying hard to concentrate. When he tilted his chin down to hear her better, she couldn’t help staring at his lips. He was so physically beautiful.

“I feel like understanding you is imperative. Your childhood, your times of heroism, your turn to the darkside, your destruction, your years of whatever you want to call it - attempting to rule over the galaxy? You are a hundred different people all in one. Twenty years of goodness and light, twenty five long years of darkness.”

“You are weighing my good deeds against my sins?”

“You assume incorrectly. I’m not keeping score. That would be pointless. You have committed far too many horrors to tally."

He felt the coldness rush into his bones. He shifted away from her. 

“Ben Solo has a similar history, without the early years of heroism of course.” She smiled warmly. “I love him because of his complexity. The man he is today is not simply the sum of his misdeeds.”

“My grandson?” Anakin sniffed sharply. “He’s about as complicated as a bar of soap.” 

Out of nowhere, her soft lips pressed against his. She held still there for a moment before tilting her head to change the angle of the kiss. His lips answered back eagerly, pouring himself into the moment. His hand slid behind her neck softly caressing her hair. She pulled back to enjoy his dazed expression. 

“Why did you do that?” He breathed.

“To make you stop talking.” 

“You could have just asked me to be quiet.” He forced his voice to be neutral. 

“Well I was wondering what it would feel like to kiss you so it served a dual purpose.”

“Do you even _like_ me?”

She thought it was sweet that he was able to ask this question without sounding needy. She could tell he was genuinely curious. “You’re interesting.”

“So is Master Saesee Tiin but I don’t see you beating down his doorstep.”

He was being an asshole but he didn’t care. He would be easier if she spat in his face and left now. He wasn’t sure he could handle her indifference, her inevitable rejection. She could cut him down, he had given her the power to hurt him.

She spoke slowly. “You are correct. There are many nicer individuals I could be spending my time with but I’m attracted to you. I should confess, I like you quite a lot.”

“But why?”

“You’re brave but also clearly capable of incredible weakness. You’ve made horrible choices. The dichotomy between Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader is truly fascinating.” 

“Don’t fool yourself. It’s the same man.”

“That’s why I’m here. To make sense of this.”

“Starlings, my actions killed your mother.” He had never allowed himself to admit it out loud. “I destroyed her life.”

“That is history now. I would not be here if you had been a good husband.” Starlings’ tone became defensive. “My parents are deeply in love. I am grateful to have been raised by parents who so clearly adore each other.” 

He nodded. Despite his rabid jealousy and mangled sense of betrayal, he was glad Padme had found someone who made her so happy. “I made a mess of my life.”

She nodded. “You certainly did.”

“I don’t like myself. I can’t imagine how you could possibly like anything about me.” He said simply. 

“Dwelling in the past doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not equipped to weigh and measure your deeds. I see you only in the present, a man who comes here to Kef Bir everyday to sit by the sea and watch the wreckage of the past wash away. I want to know you better.”

He stared at her, suddenly overwhelmed and humbled by the prospect of someone actually caring for him. He had been alone for 54 years. When he bent down to kiss her, it was a kiss of gratitude and awe. 

“Your - your parents would not approve of our friendship.” 

“I'm 27. I think they’ll be pleased I’m interested in someone.”

“Even me?”

“Well, probably not.”

He cautiously took her hand in his. He kissed her cold fingertips. “Have you ever been to Felucia? I’d like to get you out of the cold.”

She smiled. “Is Felucia warmer than this?”

He gave her a broad smile. “Yes and there are flowers as big as a bed.”

“What is its historical significance?” She asked in her academic voice.

”During the first Battle for Felucia, Republic was forced to retreat. The Separatists had set up a successful blockade and their numbers of ground forces overwhelmed us. It wasn’t pretty.”

Anakin allowed himself a slight smile. He could tell that Starlings was intrigued.

“After the Order 66 command was issued, Master Aayla Secura was killed there.”

“Oh Master Secura is in my book club!”

Anakin grinned. His existence in the Netherworld of the Force was so very strange and beautiful. He leaned in close to Starlings, pressing her back against the rocky cliff. He took her face in his hands. When he held her, he opened himself completely to her. The past was gone. He was in the present, his arms around Starlings. In the distance, waves continued to batter against the remains of the Death Star. It would be worn down and forgotten but he did not need to hold vigil as it disappeared. In time, this monument would crumble and sink into the ocean of Kef Bir without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To me, the prequel Anakin is abrasive but the Clone war version is pretty lovable. It was a little hard to come up with a reason for Starlings to like him. Does she make a convincing argument?


	26. Roared like a rock-lion

Wipolo took a quick swig of whisky when he saw Jinn materialize in the courtyard. The warmth of the alcohol instantly steadied his nerves. The voice in his head was loud today. He let it wash over him as he popped a mint. He didn’t want to tell Jinn the visions were getting worse. He knew it would eventually get better. It had to get better. 

He pulled her into an embrace. “Jinn.” He breathed into her ear.

“I’m sorry, I smell like blood.” It was true; she had come directly from the medical clinic, her green scrubs were stained black with blood. She had a Twi’lek patient who had self amputated his hand after a finger had gotten infected. She had healed him the best she could but it had been a frustrating day. She studied Wipolo’s face, trying to memorize it even as he ravaged her neck. 

He wanted to focus on her, only her. Her mouth, her thin yet strong shoulders, the way her back arched into him when they kissed.

His hands caressed her neck and then the visions kicked in: painting of a woman, thick circles, brightly lit rooms, pages of words that swam in front of his eyes. 

“Wipolo? Wipolo?” 

“Oh gods, I’m sorry.” He hung his head. 

“Did you have another vision?”

He nodded. He didn’t want to hide from her. She deserved to know some version of the truth. Something palatable, something that made sense.

"Can I try something?" Jinn stroked his jawline. 

He nodded mutely. She stood before him in her rumpled shrubs, her hair falling out of her crown-like braid. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. It felt genuinely bizarre that she was interested in him. Jinn looked up at Wipolo with her perfect lips parted. In that moment, she could have suggested slicing open his abdomen and he would have happily agreed. He always felt dopey being this close to her.

She took his hand and led him to his bed, gently easing him onto his back. She knelt beside him and put her fingertips on his forehead. Soft violet light glowed as her healing touch flowed over him. 

"That feels so nice but Jinn - " He pulled her hands away from his forehead, holding them in his. "- I'm not fixable. This isn't-"

Her pretty face was creased with worry. "What do you mean? I want to help you. You should be seeing a doctor."

He shook his head sadly. He swallowed hard. "This isn't the first time Jinn. I've had visions since I was a teenager. They won't stop. It's not a medical condition. It isn’t a hallucination, it’s a specific person trying to reach out to me.”

“Is it someone you know?”

”I can’t answer that question.”

”Will you tell me eventually? When you know me better?” Jinn looked hurt.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t about trust or how well we know each other. There's simply no way I can tell you. Or anyone." He struggled to think of a version of the truth to share with her. Wipolo wanted so badly to open his heart to her, hand over all his secrets. He hadn’t told Rey or Ren about hearing voices. Unless it got to the point that he couldn’t work, he had no plans of mentioning it. It would get better. He could live a normal life, his mother assured him, as long as he was careful. ‘Careful’ was a long list but he knew the rules by heart. 

He shook his head to clear his mind. He looked at Jinn’s creased brow. “Oh gods Jinn, don’t be sad. Please. I'm OK. I get a little disoriented but it's nothing.” 

“Do you want me to leave?” She whispered in a small voice. 

“No, no, no." He took her in his arms again. Feeling her heart pounding in her chest was incredible. He carefully, slowly ran his fingers along the hem of her bloodstained hospital shrubs shirt. His hands reached under and slid up her back. Her skin was so incredibly smooth. He smiled down at her, watched her expression shift as he traced a circle on the bare skin on the small of her back. 

He leaned in to kiss her softly. Her lips were so soft, it didn't feel real.

“I'm so crazy about you.” He hadn’t meant to say it but there it was. He was relieved to have it out there. He couldn’t hold it inside any longer.

“I'm crazy about you too!” Her radiant smile was the single most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

In a blur of motion, he pulled her so close that he could feel both of their hearts thudding together.

“I’m so happy.” She pressed a hand over his heart. 

Wipolo was the most content he’d ever been in his life.

⇆

After Jinn had to leave, he grabbed laundry out of Ren and Rey’s quarters. The pair were engaged in an icy stare-down but neither seemed to need him. 

He started a load of laundry, dealt with the trash composter, and picked up the basket of produce the forest-dwelling Mohsenians had sent them. 

While he worked, Wipolo thought about his family. He worried about his younger sister Winnie. She was at an age where his mother’s rules didn’t make sense. He remembered how light and easy life had felt before he understood his family’s situation.

Taking care of Ren was a welcome distraction. The position was almost too perfect. He could still work for the Resistance but he was free from the busy traffic of the Yavin 4 base. There were too many people, too many variables. Now he reported directly to Rey, no one else. Officially speaking, while he was stationed on Ajan Kloss, he was employed without a listed location. 

Wipolo had moved into the officers quarters with real beds, real lights, real floors. When he wasn’t helping Ren, he was free to exercise or read or go on the holonet or just think about Jinn. They didn’t get much time together - a few minutes in the mornings and then maybe 20 minutes in the evening. He looked at the picture he’d taped to his bed frame. In the photo, Jinn was smiling. He loved her smile. When he picked up a book, the visions kicked in. He saw the painting of a woman looking over her shoulder and the stupid circles and a structure on a high hill. He closed his eyes, pushing the visions down. His mother and grandmother had the gift of closing themselves off. It was a matter of survival, a steady shield.

It had been decades since his family had brushed with danger but it didn’t mean they were safe. Jinn’s sister presented a unique challenge. By blocking himself, Wipolo had accidentally tipped off Swans. Blocking her out had initially felt like a victory. It meant his Force truly wasn’t detectable, wasn’t registering. It had been a mistake moving objects through the Force but once he’d slipped up, he decided to downplay it. Make it seem normal. But down deep, he knew he’d fucked up.

There must never be close calls, his mother had always told him. _You must never be lax, you must keep your guards up at all times._

⇆

Rocks crunched underneath his feet as he walked. He needed to be outside. Rey and Ben were fighting now. He was secretly glad Ben was healing so slowly. He liked being on Ajan Kloss. He hoped Rey would ask him to stay and help with the Jedi temple. He could make something of himself here. He could patch together a life. He could use his abilities without being in the limelight, he could help people but not on any of the front lines that would put his family in jeopardy. 

**_As I honored her, I will honor you. As I protected her I swear I will protect you._ **

Great. Just fucking great. The voices in his head were back. He was sick of the voice washing over his thoughts. Sick of the arrogance, it roared like a rock-lion, contented only by its own voice. 

**_All things must be leveled_.**

He was not surprised in the least that It had gotten worse. Both of his brothers had described a period of elevated visions, voices. He needed to talk to his mother. 

As often happened, his mother contacted him just as he was thinking about her. A message popped up on his holopad that his little sister wanted to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is such a mess. I've rewritten it so many times, it has taken on a Frankenstein quality.


	27. Butterfly Mask

Wipolo scrambled to his backpack to find the heavily encrypted blackmarket datapad his mother had given him when he joined the Resistance. 

His younger sister, Winne, appeared on the screen. She wore a butterfly mask to obscure her appearance. She spoke through a voice modulator but the pitch and cadence were still that of an eleven-year-old girl. In spurts of rapid speech, she told him about her friends, swim club, and that their father was helping his older brother Saffin install a security system. 

He couldn’t help but smile, thinking how nice it would be if a bunch of cameras could really keep the bad guys out. 

”Harry said you met a girl. He said you’re on Yavin 4. Is Rey there?”

“Yes, Rey is here.” That wasn’t a complete lie, he could see and hear her yelling at Ren. “I haven’t been able to see Harry, it’s a big base.” Another harmless half-truth. 

“What’s your girlfriend’s name - I mean, what’s she like?“ Even at eleven, Winnie knew to avoid using names.

Wipolo grabbed the photo of Jinn and held it in front of the screen.

Winnie squealed in delight. “She’s really pretty!"

"She’s a Force Healer.“

Suddenly his sister’s shoulders lurched and Wipolo knew his mother had taken control of his sister’s mind and body.

Using a conduit or intermediary was the only way his mother would talk over electronic devices. She didn’t trust voice modulation or encryption. With four children and a grandchild to protect, the dangers were real to her.

Wipolo was accustomed to his Mother's practice of speaking through conduits. His mother could hijack his sister’s mind and body for a few minutes and Winnie wouldn’t remember a single word of their conversation. Objectively, he knew conduits were important for security but he wished it didn’t have to be his younger sister. He was sure it didn’t hurt Winnie, because it hadn’t hurt Wipolo when he had served the same role himself years before.

When she adjusted the screen, he could see his Mother’s regal posture take over his sister's body. She straightened the butterfly mask and adjusted the voice modulation.

“Your sister misses you. We all do.” His mother tapped her heart.

“Winnie is getting too old for this.” Wipolo’s voice was edged with concern. He had stopped being his mother’s conduit at age 10 when he had started to retain memories of her guarded conversations. 

“Your nephew will be able to take over soon.” Magdalia was a happy, easily distracted six year old.

“It’s hard to imagine him standing still long enough to be a good conduit.”

”He’ll adjust. He couldn’t possibly be worse than you and your brothers. Now did you say you’re dating a Force User?” His mother snapped, using his sister’s voice. “That isn’t wise.” 

“It’s OK, Mom. She can’t feel my force. No one can. I'm completely safe.” This was only partially true. When he'd first met Jinn, he was so critically injured that she’d been able to glimpse into his mind. She hadn’t seen anything important so best not to mention it. 

His sister sighed his mother’s heavy sigh. “It might be wise for you to consider relocating.”

“No Mom, I’m off the records. It’s the perfect situation.”

His mother supported his decision to join the Resistance. When his Uncle Keol had been killed at the Battle of Crait, he and his brother Harry had vowed to take up the cause. Harry was a mechanical engineer working on Yavin 4. It was strange to think that Wipolo was helping care for the man responsible for his Uncle’s death. Strange to think he could have slit Kylo Ren’s throat a hundred times over. Best not to mention that one either.

“You’re having the visions more often, aren’t you?“

He nodded. 

“And the voice?”

”It started again.”

"I know, Winnie heard it yesterday for the first time" she said in a flat voice.

“Oh gods.” His poor sister. “She’s too young.” He thought about how his life changed when he started hearing the voice. His elevated perception had always made his teachers and classmates uncomfortable. The voice and the visions kept him constantly on guard. He had started to withdraw from his friends and started hanging out only with his family. Wipolo cringed thinking of the challenges his sister would face.

He had volunteered for the Resistance after college, hoping his abilities could be of use. But his commanding officers had been uneasy around him and steered him toward maintenance and ground crew. He had scammed his way onto the Exegol landing team and managed to get himself shredded to pieces by one of the Knights of Ren. Another item to avoid telling his mother. But his injuries had landed him in the Black Rim Medical Crisis Center where he’d met Jinn. 

“Saffin and I have started teaching Winnie how to block her Force. She will be fine.”

“I wish I could help.“

“You need to meditate, strengthen yourself. Are you seeing anything troubling?

“No.” He remembered his older brother Saffin had grisly visions. “Just boring stuff.”

“Circles? A painting of a woman looking over her shoulder?”

“Yes.“ Wipolo nodded.

After a lifetime of visions, there wasn't much that his Mother hadn't seen. 

“Remember do not succumb to curiosity.”

“I will not.”

“We have a couple more minutes left.” His mother never allowed their conversations to exceed 10 minutes for security reasons. “Tell me more about this girl. Is she kind? Does she come from a good family?”

Wipolo took a deep breath and began to explain, in the vaguest terms possible, about Jinn’s work as a healer. They only had 3 minutes left, how much could she possibly yell at him?  
  



	28. Poison Remains in Your Heart

Kylo Ren thought he would have been able to sense her presence but Leia Organa entered his room without a sound. She was flanked by Jinn and a blond woman. The effect was chilling. He felt like a complete idiot for not realizing Jinn was related to Leia. The blond looked like she’d walked straight out of a religious commune, her waist-length hair worn in a tight braid. She wore a silver hooded dress and was barefoot. In the center, Leia Organa stood regally. Leia looked the same as when he had been sent away to Luke’s Temple. If anything, she looked healthier. The only difference was now she wore her hair in a more refined style, crisscrossing her head like a crown. 

He felt like he was going to hyperventilate. The commune blond was about to reach for his hand but Leia shook her head subtly. He tried to look anywhere but at his Mother’s face. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he control himself? Leia hated him and he had come to terms with her disappointment. After everything he’d done, she must have shed all maternal feelings for him long ago. So why did she have such an effect on him?

He could sense Rey was watching them from somewhere. He shifted around, searching for her. She and a tall, pretty boy Jedi were watching him from the courtyard. Ren’s mind raced. _Where in the fucking hell were all these Jedi coming from?_

**Help me?** He reached out to Rey. Maybe she could get rid of his Mother? Maybe Rey was powerful enough to make her go away. **Please?**

Rey covered her face with her hands and started to cry. The tall, frightfully handsome Jedi brushed his wavy brown hair out of his eyes and patted Rey’s shoulder. _Great, just great._

“What’s wrong with Rey?” Leia followed his eyes, zeroing in on the pair

“I don’t know. She cries _all_ the time.” He tried his very best to sound cruel.

“You’re torturing that poor girl. I wish you’d get your head out of your ass and remember how you got here. She needs you!”

“And what about what I need?” Ren hissed between clenched teeth. “You’re keeping me here against my will, being Force Drained and kept in restraints.”

“You think I’m doing this? You think this is my idea?”

Ren glowered up at her. “I know it is.”

“This is what _you_ asked us to do, you idiot. You asked us to make sure you didn’t go back to The First Order or those blasted Knights of Ren.” 

“No.” Ren felt like he was going to pass out. 

“You don’t remember that, do you?” Leia turned to the barefoot commune blond, “Starlings, can you please check on Rey?

Jinn sat on the edge of his bed and took his hand. “You’re going to be OK.”

“Get. Out. Of. My. Room.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and pain hit him between the eyes, like being smacked. She smiled when he winced. When did she become a psychopath? 

  
“Jinn, why don’t you leave us? Ben will want to see you when he’s better.”

He waited until they were alone before turning on his Mother. “ How _dare_ you call me by _that_ name?” 

Leia stepped closer, her spine stiffened with anger. “Ben is your name and I will call you by it. Whatever poison remains in your heart, your soul is still Ben Solo.”

“No.” He wasn’t sure why he was fighting her at this point. Old habits? "Go away. I'm not your son anymore."

She leveled an icy stare at him. “Ugh! I’m so frustrated with you. We had all this shit figured out and now we’re back to _this_. I miss my son.”

Leia turned on her heel and left him without a backward glance. 

When she stepped out into the courtyard, she found herself unexpectedly alone with Anakin.

“How’d it go?“

”My son is a dick.“

“He gets that from me, I’m afraid.” 

Leia laughed in spite of herself. “What are you here Anakin? You’ve never so much as looked in my direction before.”

“I knew there was no point. I’ve always known you were stronger than me. Stronger than your brother. There was no point trying. I destroyed Alderaan to push you to the dark side but you didn’t waver, even for a second.“

Anakin knew Starlings was listening to their conversation. He couldn’t afford to be an asshole anymore. 

”You know I hate you Anakin. Everybody in the Netherworld is all about forgiveness and moving on but I don’t know if I have it in me.”

“You don’t need to forgive me. I destroyed your home, I killed your family. I did countless horrible things.”

She turned to face him. Pain etched familiar lines along her face. “When I died, Padme was standing at the entrance to the Netherworld, waiting for me. She loves me. You don’t make eye contact with me.“

“I don’t deserve a relationship with you." 

“That’s not how relationships work, you idiot!” Her voice was getting louder. Leia could see Ben’s eyes tracking her. Rey and Starlings watched from an old picnic table. “You spend time with Luke.”

“Luke understands the darkside.”

“So that’s what this is? A contest? I was on your ship -"

"I didn't know I my children had survived."

"Bullshit." 

“It's true. Don't you think, knowing everything you know about me, that I would have turned the galaxy upside down to find you?"

"Why didn't you even try to find out if we'd survived?"

"Once again, I thought you were dead! Honestly, have you ever once heard anyone say, "Damn, that Vader sure is perceptive."? And aren't you glad that I was dumb as hell and you were raised by a decent, kind family? What kind of father would I have been?"

Leia half smiled. 

Anakin studied his daughter's sad face. "I'm glad you were raised by Breha and Bail Organa. They were honorable, brave people."

"That you killed." 

"Technically, Grand Moff Tarkin ordered the Death Star to fire."

"You're such an asshole. This is _exactly_ why I hate-"

"Yes." Anakin interrupted. Starlings watched from the shadows and Anakin's posture slumped. "Yes, I killed them."

Leia turned to walk away from him but paused. She breathed deeply and regarded Anakin as he stood motionless, head down. He was punishing himself. Maybe it was twisted to feel delighted by his pain but it felt cleansing. It enraged her to think how much his rejection mattered to her. Why on earth did she care? Why did she keep handing her heart over to be crushed by men who were supposed to love her? She turned back to him, her chin up. 

“I could always feel you there.“ She spoke with a slight smile. “The darkness was always there but I don’t have a use for it.”

His shoulders shook as he nodded. "I'll never deserve to be your father."

“You're such an idiot. That’s not how relationships work.” Her voice had grown softer. 

They stood in silence. Anakin was unsure what to say. “Ben is going to be OK.”

Leia shuddered. “I’m afraid he will be lost again.”

“No. He and Rey are deeply connected. If they cannot repair the web of memory, their love will cut through the debris of his ego and carve a new path.”

Leia smiled at Anakin with gratitude. “That was close to profound. You actually chose the _perfect_ words.”

Anakin hung his head again. “Qui Gon said it this morning.”

“Of course he did.” She looked up at Anakin, her expression softened slightly. 

“You may be right about Ben. I hope you are.” 

Close by, listening in the shadows, Starlings whispered to Jinn. “See, I told you. Anakin isn’t a useless piece of shit.”

Jinn frowned. “I never said he was a piece of shit. I always thought he was as much a victim of the Emperor as Ben was. He was so weak and he never stood a chance.”

Starlings shrugged.

"You like him don't you?" Jinn pulled Starlings into a hug. "Mom is going to kill you, I hope you realize that.”


	29. Tired

Rey was tired. 

It felt like a million tiny problems were tearing holes in her: Ren’s hostility, Leia’s visit, Anakin’s sudden unexpected interest in his grandson, Swan’s determination to figure out what was going on with Wipolo, the construction of the training center, endless questions from Sola about security, friendly messages from Rose and Poe, Obi-Wan and Padme wanting her to see a doctor...

She was, at most, a few weeks pregnant. She knew her exhaustion couldn’t be that. Or could it? She had never had doctor’s appointment in her adult life. 

Rey rested her head on the old picnic table in the courtyard and listened to the birds. She tried to imagine what the Jedi Temple would be like. Children gathered around, learning forms. Forms she needed to actually master before she taught them, of course.

Swans and Rose had been tasked with finding 4 students to start with. Obi-Wan’s youngest daughter would be coming twice a week. Rey was little intimidated to have a Kenobi as a student. At five, Shadda Kenobi knew 2 lightsaber forms and was reported to be Yoda’s favorite Padawan. 

She sighed heavily. Everything seemed impossible and exhausting. Wipolo sat down across from her, sliding her a glass of water with lemon.

“I thought you were with Jinn. Did she leave already?”

“No she didn’t show up this morning.” Wipolo couldn’t manage to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “I worked on Ren’s spine but I’ll leave his brain for Jinn. I don’t want to mess him up or anything.”

“Yes, we don’t want him to end as a psychopath or First Order leader.” Rey laughed.

Wipolo was too stressed out thinking about Jinn to laugh. It wasn’t like her to miss working on Ren. He knew Jinn must have finally talked to Swans about his refusal to take a midi-chlorians test. He couldn’t think of what to do so he focused on the present. “How are you holding up?”

Rey shrugged.

“Have you been to a doctor yet?”

“No. I don’t know if I can trust anyone on base. I don’t want word to get out. Gods, I wish I was flying somewhere or doing something. I'm so overwhelmed.” Tears spilled out of her eyes. 

Wipolo covered her hand with his. She liked that he didn’t try to talk her out of her feelings 

“How do you do it? How do you stay so calm all the time?”

Wipolo met her eyes. “I’m not calm.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. you’re Force Blocking.”

“That doesn’t make me calm.”

“Why do you do it then?”

“Safety.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Both.”

Rey nodded with a smile and set her head down again. Wipolo marveled at Rey's open mindedness. He felt like he could tell her he was a cannibal and she’d ask some nice questions about what type of spices went well with human flesh. 


	30. Sola

On Yavin 4, Sola Kenobi was experiencing her own kind of stress. She had yet to mention to her parents that she had committed herself to Poe. Or that she was dating him.

Examining the issue from several different angles, she couldn’t see any major problems, aside from a direct mandate from the Jedi Council of the Netherworld to avoid combat. Poe wasn’t physically involved in conflict often so being his wife / unofficial bodyguard didn’t send up any red flags in her mind.

Sola adored Poe. She loved the gray hairs at his temples, his perfect chest hair, his layers of guilt and honor. When he touched her, it made her toes clench up. And then there was his smile. He didn’t smile as often as she’d like, the constant stress wasn’t wearing well on him. She wandered into the base cafeteria for some atrocious fruit while she mulled over ways to improve Poe’s tension level. 

Maybe find a better produce supply chain on Yavin 4? She would look into it. 

She had her back turned when a couple of women sat down nearby. She recognized one of the voices as Kaydel Ko Connix. 

“Did you hear Poe is shacked up with Sola Kenobi?”

“Who?” Connix’s friend whispered. Sola was pretty sure the woman was named Elise. 

“Sola? The Decapitator!”

“No! You are shitting me.”

Connix squished up her face. “I’ve never liked that expression.”

“What’s he doing with that girl? She’s not even that pretty.”

“I straight up asked him about her and he said ‘I love her and I think she’s incredible.’ He could do so much better, if you ask me.”

Elise sighed. “I mean, she is a warrior. That’s his type.”

“She’s, like, totally demented.”

“She’s a Jedi. Killing is part of the job -“

“But they don’t generally, as a rule of thumb, throw decapitated heads at people.”

Connix’s friend giggled.

“I mean, what’s Poe gonna tell people? ‘Oh, I’d like to introduce you to my wife. Her face might be familiar to you from holonet videos such as ‘Throwing Bloody Head at Camera’ or ‘Galaxy’s Most Violent Women Volume 6’. That’s not going to pull in donations to the Resistance!”

Elise leaned in, her voice dropped to a whisper. “My gods, did you hear Poe’s building a Jedi training thing on Ajan Kloss with Rey?”

“I never understood what Leia saw in her.” Connix whined.

“On my gods, everyone and their fucking mother knows that Poe is letting Rey and Kylo Ren’s hunky ass hide out on Ajan Kloss? I mean seriously, would you like to send your child to train at a Jedi Temple if your mentor was fucking the former Supreme Leader?”

Connix gaped. “That’s supposed to be classified!”

“Jaime in Maintenance said her cousin saw Kylo and he’s in a _wheelchair_!”

“No way. Did she get a picture?”

“No electronic devices on base.”

“She says he’s hot as fuck. Never, ever wears a shirt.”

Sola looked down sadly. She was a joke and her reputation was undermining Poe’s leadership. Ben and Rey weren’t safe with blabbermouth bitches like these around. Everything was so fucked up. 

Strategy, military tactics and combat came easily to her but winning over people’s loyalty was completely foreign to her. 

She’d grown up in the Netherworld of the Force and had been Padawan both to Adi Gallia and Mace Windu. Master Windu had taught her to not be governed by emotions and to be proud of her ferocity. 

Sola and her sisters had been sheltered and integrating with the Outerworld had been a massive challenge. Swans and Jinn were so much better at it than her. Maybe she could ask them. No, they were both obsessing over Wipolo. On top of that, Swans was in bed with Qui Gonn every free second of the day.

She frowned. Maybe she should have taken up with someone from the Netherworld. There wouldn’t be bitchy coworkers to deal with. No, she loved Poe and would have to make this right. 

It was time to call on her big sister for help - Leia knew these assholes. She would know what to do. 


	31. Safe

Ren turned away when Rey stepped into his room. He had been unhinged since his Mother’s visit. He couldn’t accept that he had chosen this situation for himself. Of all possible options, why would he choose to allow himself to be Rey’s prisoner. 

She stood inside the doorway. Her beautiful hazel eyes tracked his every movement like a hunter. He would not look at her. He wouldn’t give her that kind of power over him. He pretended to study the wall behind her. “What happens if I don’t remember?“

“I don’t know.“ Rey shrugged sadly.

“Will I get to see my child?“

 _“Your_ child?”

“My child is a descendent of Darth Vader.”

She walked out without looking at him. 

He struggled to pull himself into the wheelchair and went looking for her. Dear lord, he was exhausted hauling his heavy ass out into the courtyard. _How the hell was Wipolo able to push him around without sweating? And where was he now?_ Ren was drenched in sweat. Maybe Wipolo would see him and bring him some water. Push him to the shower or something.

He found Rey in the middle of a partially constructed building. At least it was shaded and the acoustics blocked out the ten billion shrieking birds. He tried not to sound winded as he rolled up to where she was practicing Form 1 with a golden yellow lightsaber. He stopped to admire her. He was sweating like a freakin beast and she looked bright and fresh. 

“Why are doing Shii-Cho?”

“I never learned it.”

“Who was your teacher?”

“Luke for a little bit but mostly your Mother.”

“Is she training Jedi now?”

Rey didn’t want to lie. “Just me.”

“Who was that Jedi with Leia?”

How to explain Anakin? “It’s a long story. He’s from the Netherworld of the Force which is -“

“I know what the Netherworld is, I’m not 10!” His voice was edged with hostility. “I don’t like this parade of antique Jedi.”

“You’ll need to adjust.”

“He had his arm around you!”

“You just heard me say he’s from the Netherworld.”

“Well, he still has arms.”

She narrowed her eyes. Was he jealous? That was new. She went back to her Shii-Cho. “Am I doing this form right?”

“Look, I’m sorry for what I said about the baby and Vader.”

She nodded. “I accept your apology. How are my hips?”

He used a sweaty arm to wipe off his even sweatier face. “Quite nice.” But you’re supposed to be square with your feet.” He pulled himself up out of the chair. With great effort, he took a half step toward her. He looked at her with a sweetness she’d never seen before.

  
“You’re walking!”

”I’ve been practicing.” His lips curved into a slight smile and she couldn’t help but grin back at him. 

“Here.” He massaged her shoulders down. “Shii-Cho, The Way of the Sarlacc is about stability. You are trying to disable your opponent, not kill them. Your shoulders are too tense, if you hold them too high and it will affect your blocking.” He had a momentary flash of memory, seeing her fighting him with teeth bared. His balance wobbled and she was seized with worry.

“Do you want me to get your walker?”

“No. No. I’m fine.” But he was shaking from the effort of standing. When she helped him back in the wheelchair, he was pale and slick with sweat. 

After she hurried to give him a towel and water, he looked almost human. She wanted to curl up on his lap and reward his efforts with a thousand kisses but she settled for gently brushing hair out of his eyes.

There was desperation about him that was endearing. Instead of returning him to his quarters, she pushed his wheelchair through the construction.

“What is this building?”

“It’s going to be a Jedi Training Center.”

“What? No! You’re painting a target on your back. The First Order will incinerate the planet.”

“We’re working on security.”

“Rey, our baby won’t be safe here. If Snoke finds out about it - _when_ he finds out about it, he will never stop until he has our baby. He’ll starve it and beat it and torture it until he breaks its soul apart. I will not let that happen.”

Rey loved him more in this moment, than she ever had loved him before. Without thinking, she impulsively leaned over and kissed his forehead.

He didn’t know how to react. “Sorry I’m sweaty.”

She put a hand on his strong shoulder. “Yes, you are.”

She pushed him toward the main building. “Holy shit, you’re heavy.”

He turned slightly. “What are we going to do to keep you and the baby safe?”

She studied his face, measuring her words cautiously. “I don’t think you’re going to like this answer.”

“Certainly not my favorite way to start a sentence.”

Rey took a deep breath. “I think our baby could be born in the Netherworld like Obi-Wan’s daughters. I mean, I don’t know if we’ll be allowed but-“

“Yes, let’s do that.”

Rey heaved a sigh of relief. “I didn’t think you’d be OK with it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? It will be surrounded by generations of selfless, fully armed Jedi.” 

“I thought you hated Jedi.”

I don’t hate all Jedi. I like Jinn and Wipolo.” 

“Wipolo isn’t a Jedi. I’m not sure what he is actually.” 

Ren frowned. He stared at Rey, studying her face. He wanted to touch her so badly, it made him feel light headed. “I mean, I won’t get to see our baby but it will be safe.”

“You’re going to see our baby. I promise.”


	32. Bed

“This.” He gestured at her stomach. “Did we plan this?”

“No.”

“Were we happy about it?”

“Our child was conceived in love if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“I didn’t say she wasn’t.” 

Rey turned to him, shocked. “You said _she_.”

He nodded “I can hear her. Even now that I’m Force Drained.”

Rey nodded, suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. She missed her Ben. She wanted to be talking to him, not this half-stranger. “You named her already.”

“What is the name?”

“I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Takodana?”

“That’s a horrible name. Is that really the _first_ thing that came to mind? Takodana? Where you first threatened me and knocked me unconscious? Do you think that’s appropriate in any way?”

“It’s where we met.”

“Where you kidnapped me?!”

He fell silent, aware of the her growing disappointment 

“Her name is Hana Rose Solo.”

“Rose, like that woman who never stops talking? Can we change it to Wipolo?”

Rey laughed. He was fascinated by her smile. The way her eyes cast downward and then flicked back at him.

  
  


“I do remember having you in restraints. You were _my_ prisoner.” He smiled in spite of himself.

She almost smiled. “I scared you.”

“You terrified me. I’d never been alone with a girl. Except First Order officers who don’t count.”

“That was the same day I touched Luke’s lightsaber for the first time.” 

He grinned. “It sounds so dirty when you say it like that.”

Rey laughed. Making her laugh was the best feeling. 

She sat down on the far end of the bed, almost close enough to touch his hand. 

“When I was in restraints, I thought you were going to try to touch me.” She felt her cheeks redden. 

“My gods, I wanted to. You saw through me. Destroyed me. I was destroyed the first time I met you.”

She looked away. “That’s not true.” 

“You don’t know.” His voice shook. “You don’t know how I felt. I carried you through the woods. I wouldn’t let anyone touch you on the flight to Starkiller. The troopers with me probably thought I was molesting you but I was holding you in my arms.” He lowered his eyes. “I touched your face.”

“What?”

“You’re so beautiful.” He swallowed hard, waiting for her to make fun of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To me, this is the sexiest scene. Also, I like having Ren come up with a stupid baby name.


	33. One Leg On, One Leg Off

She lay down beside him. One leg on, one leg off the bed.

When he turned to face her, he was stunned by how desperately he wanted to touch her. “How did it happen between us?”

Rey and Obi-Wan had agreed to withhold his parent’s deaths. She spoke in simplest, vaguest terms. “Your Mother’s energy reached out to you and it altered you.”

Ren was silent as he digested this information. 

“And you stopped being Kylo Ren. You told me that Han appeared to you and helped you let go.”

“What do you mean, ‘Han appeared to me’?”

Rey shook her head, reminding herself that he did not remember killing his father. She reached slowly and took his hand. He didn’t shrink away from her.

She forced a neutral tone. “He came to help you, he’s your father.” 

Rey tucked her arm under a pillow while Ren mulled over her statements. “You fought beside me. Do you remember that?”

His eyes drifted to their entwined hands as his memories grafted together. “We killed Snoke together, didn’t we?”

She nodded. “Do you remember Exegol? Fighting with me against the The Emperor?”

He was silent for a moment. “The Emperor?” His memory shifted , seeing an image of the decaying husk of the ancient ruler. The memory unfolded in pieces. He was silent so long that she knew he had patched together some of their timeline. “Oh gods, you’re a Palpatine. Our daughter is a Palpatine.”

“And a Skywalker. And an Amidala. And an Organa. And a Solo.” 

He turned to her astonished. “I only remember part of it. Did we win?”

“Yes. And no.”

The memory crashed over him. His face trembled with emotion, the memory of her lifeless body made his entire body rock back and forth in pain. He doubled over, clutching at the air.

Unable to control himself, he pulled her body to him. His hands gripped the back of her shirt, the cloth pulling her tighter. The pain of her death overtook him and he was shaken to his core. His hands were in her hair, cradling the back of her neck. The familiarity of the gesture almost made her weep. He pulled back and studied her lips, he was scared to meet her eyes.

“You saved me.” She whispered. “And saving my life killed you.”

” I deserve to be dead.” He swallowed hard, trying to control his rasping breaths.

“You were dead for about a day but then The Jedi Council of the Netherworld sent you back to me.”

Slowly his eyes met hers and she could see a sad look of longing. It was the same look she had seen when he had taken her to Snoke. Like a child asked to give up their favorite toy. Like a boy being told he did not deserve the love he so craved. 

She reached out and lay her palm against his cheek. His hand covered hers, holding her in place. He looked so worried, like she was going to float away from him. Like she was going to reject him at any second. He leaned toward her, his breath was uneven. His thumb traced the curve of her lips. He licked his lips and awkwardly brushed his mouth against hers. 

“Do you hear that?” Rey’s eyes lit up.

“What?” He didn’t hear anything, for all he knew the kriffing birds, the entire galaxy and time itself had stopped. 

“It’s raining.” She whispered, her face filled with joy. There was thunder in the distance. “When we love each other, it rains.” 

His lips twitched with a smile. “What are you talking about?”

“You and I make it rain. Even on Tatooine.”

He squinted at her, trying to decide if she was kidding. 

She crushed her lips against his. It felt the same, he felt the same. Warmth radiated through her body. His lips were so soft, so incredibly soft. She sucked in his upper lip, then switched to the lower. Her tongue flicked at his, exploring his mouth. His lips, his tongue, his every movement was hesitant but she could feel him trying to keep up. He tasted sweet, like toothpaste.  
  
Light drops of rain started to pitter patter on the roof. She grinned at the sound. His hands caressed her jawline as he softly kissed her. His arms tugged her closer. His fingertips stroked her ears, making her spine tingle. He lunged at her, his arms on either side of her waist, running to her hips and back up, stopping just short of her breasts. His lips surged along her neck, to her earlobe, finding a spot that made her toes curl. A moan escaped her lips and they both froze. 

She tried to pull away but he didn’t let go. “That was too much of what I wanted.” She whispered. 

He eyes scanned hers. She could feel his longing and fear. “I want you too.”

“But not like this.” She said, her voice filled with sadness.

“What if I don’t get my memories back?”

“Then I’ve lost my home. You were my home.” Her eyes betrayed her, glancing over to the marks she had scratched on their bedroom wall. She hadn’t marked the days since he lost his memory.

“Rey, I need you. I can’t go back.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying.

“You aren’t the same.”

Neediness overtook him. “Tell me what you need and I’ll be it. I can become what you want.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I want Ben. My Ben.”

“Let me try to be him. I’ll make you happy I promise. Please.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Please.”

The lightning dashed across the sky, thundering rumbles echoed in the distance.

She thought of Han leaving, Leia sending him away, Luke attacking him. She felt the searing loss of her own parents and the ache of loneliness. She forced herself to look into his eyes and see his desperation.

“I love you. I can’t be without you.” He wrapped himself around her. She let herself be held by him. He kissed the top of her head. “Please let me try. Please.” 

He breathed deeply trying to calm himself. “Please?”

Slowly her arms slid around his back and she leaned into him fully. She rested her head on his chest.

The sensation was immediate and complete. It was like the times he had swam in the ocean as a boy. The undertow, ancient and unwavering, pulling him below the surface. But he wasn’t fearful. The decision to let go was no decision at all. It felt natural and right. He was giving himself back to the universe. His past was scorched earth. 

Looking back, his submission to Snoke, the Emperor, even to Luke was mixed with fear. Being with Rey, wasn’t submission - he was meeting her in the center. Everyone had given up on him. But he was safe here. She had faith in him. Even now.

“Please don’t give up on me.”He whispered, not caring how needy or sad he sounded.

“Please don’t ever leave me.” Her voice shook with fear.

“Never. I could never leave you again.”

There was the smile. It wasn’t quite Ben Solo. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first scenes I wrote. I liked that Rey thinks of Ben as her home. If I could wrap myself up in a chapter, like a blanket, it would be this one!


	34. Unsettled

They had stayed up late talking. Whispering about Snoke, the First Order, Exegol…

Whereas Ben Solo had been relaxed, Keylo Ren was jittery, unsettled and riddled with concerns for the future. Ben was a heavy sleeper who took up much of their large bed while Ren clung to her closely, waking her up several times with kisses. 

He shared things Ben had not - things Ben had been unconcerned about. They went over defeating Snoke and the Emperor in detail. What worked, what should or shouldn’t have worked. He wanted to know what she had been thinking at every moment. She had not known that he had planned to kill Snoke going into the Throne Room. His heartbreaking stare in the elevator had been a plea for her trust and compliance. Ren had not expected to survive the confrontation with his master. Even then, before Exegol, he had been so deeply attached to her that he was willing to sacrifice his life for her. 

Ren shared his training with Snoke. How he had been coached to fear, to embrace his terror. Snoke had broken his arms, nose, fingers and toes. He had drug him across the floor, keeping him on his knees until he collapsed, made him feel like a pervert for having sexual urges, starved and beaten him, belittled his lingering attachment to his parents so often he had become ashamed of himself for even breathing their names. Each confession made his soul lighter and she rewarded him with kisses.

His chest was against her back as he held her. He nuzzled her neck so many times, she eventually gave up on sleep. “You aren’t going to let me rest, are you?” She whispered in mock exasperation. It was hard to be mad at him when he was kissing her ear. She arched her back into him and she could feel his cock stirring. She slid out of her pants, enjoying his gasp of surprise. 

It was raining again. He smiled at the sound. She hadn’t been kidding about that.

While Ben had been confident and perceptive, Ren seemed to possess no instinct about sex. She took one of his hands in hers and used it to part her legs. She nudged his fingers apart into a V parting her folds and pulling up to brush against her clit. His breathing became ragged, feeling how wet she was. 

He ravaged her neck. **I don’t deserve you.** He spoke through their force connection 

“Take your shorts off.” She instructed simply.

He struggled clumsily, trying to keep his rhythm between her legs. She moaned feeling his cocky spring free, resting against her back. Rey licked her lips in anticipation and turned her neck to kiss his wet mouth. Their lips mashed together, teeth scraping. Her tongue reached his lewdly. 

Ren’s chest heaved as she angled against him, freeing his other arm. He reached under her thin tank top. As his fingertips ran along the underside of her breast, his hand on her cunt seemed to suddenly be guided by instinct. He slowed down, teasing her, one finger dipped inside her before resuming their pattern. She let out a low moan. 

“What do you want me to do?” He breathed into her ear as he caught her nipple between his fingers, applying enough pressure to make her cry out. 

“Oh gods, don’t stop. You’re so good.”

She reached behind her trying to angle the tip of his cock against her opening. He had a moment of uncertainty as he tried to push into her then he grabbed her hips and plunged into her. Her loud moan startled him.

“Are you OK? Did I hurt you?”

“Again.” She whispered.

He pulled back and thrust forward again, she threw an arm over her face to keep from crying out. 

“More.”

He pulled himself up by force of will and shifted her onto her back. He repositioned himself and sunk into her, deeper than before. She could only hang on, struggling as he filled her completely. It had been so long since he’d been inside her. His lips parted and his dark eyes locked into hers with an expression she’d never seen before. Rey took over her clit, rubbing in time with his cock. He lifted her knees up, allowing a better angle, thrusting faster and more forcefully. She wrapped her strong legs around him. Her cries became soft sobs as she started to come. He let go of himself and everything he had held onto so tightly over the years. The stress and power plays, the anger and self hatred all dissolved into stardust as he came inside her. 

He fell asleep with his hand on her stomach. She was his home. Rey and their baby were his new world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure how I feel about this scene. I didn’t want there to be a flipped switch where Ren turns into Ben instantly. I like that this experience alters him and adds dimension.


	35. Chapter 35

Wipolo wished he could talk to Rey. He didn’t bond as easily with her as he did with Ren. If he was to be honest with himself, she scared him. He knew her emotions were running on overload. frustration, sadness - well the sadness might be lessening after this morning. He had found her in bed with Ren, their bodies tangled together. He smiled to himself. Maybe Ren was starting to remember.

Before this morning, Ren had acted like the idea of using a walker was distasteful. Now he was using it to drag himself to the fresher. Wipolo caught up to him huffing and puffing, sweat pouring down his face. 

“Want me to get your stuff for a shower?” 

Ren nodded, too exhausted to speak. 

Wipolo hustled to grab toiletries, fresh clothes and the wheelchair. No more grabbing stuff through the force, he reminded himself. He ran back in time to help Ren transition into the wheelchair under the shower.

“Thanks man, I’m dying here.”

It was the first time Ren had thanked him for anything. “You did a great job.”

Ren peered over his shoulder, hopefully. “Rey saw me walking, didn’t she?”

“She was watching you the whole time.” Wipolo patted Ren on the shoulder, thinking how strange it was to think of Keylo Ren as his friend. 

After a long shower, they worked together dressing Ren in a simple dark grey linen tunic and black pants. He could do most of it on his own but the sleeves were still tricky.

“Where did these clothes come from?”

“Swans bought them.”

“Who’s Swans?”

“One of those Aunts you wish didn’t exist.”

Ren looked up to unfamiliar sounds.

“Oh gods, what’s he doing here?”

Ren frowned to see Obi-wan starting a lesson with Rey on beginning level lightsaber forms using wooden staffs. Wipolo and Ren watched as he showed her how the forms translated into combat. They switched from slow deliberate form movements to sparring. Obi-wan was clearly having fun, spinning into the blows with ease. Rey kept pace with him. Her form was elegant but lacking his polish and refinement.

“Join us you two!” Obi-Wan called out.

Ren shook his head. 

Rey tilted her head slightly and he could sense her disappointment. She squinted at him, scrunching her nose in the cutest way imaginable and his resolve crumbled.

“Come on Wipolo, I’ll spar with you. I’ll teach you.”

“I’ll pass.”

“You aren’t scared of me are you?”

Wipolo was definitely scared of Ren. Rey and Obi-Wan watched him hesitate. How could he get out of this and still seem normal? Maybe he could do this for a minute and then make some sort of excuse. He’d need to let Ren hurt him or fall on his face.

Feeling trapped. Wipolo grabbed a staff. “Take it easy on me. If I get injured, you’ll have to do your own laundry.”

Ren twirled a staff playfully. "I'm using a walker, I think you'll manage."

Obi Wan watched with great interest as Wipolo suddenly sprang to life. Ren tapped at his staff playfully, aiming for the weapon only. They established a pattern of steady blows. Wipolo struggled valiantly to block Ren. 

Rey grinned. “You’re doing great Wipolo! Protect your face.” She switched over to spar with Wipolo who was growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Ben clung to his walker, sweat running down his face.

Obi Wan stopped to stare at the boy’s footing. What the _hell_ was going on? He crossed his arms and scratched his beard, concentrating. 

Ren adored watching Rey. He’d remembered she was good but he didn’t realize she was brilliant. A staff seemed to suit her. Gods, she was so pretty. Ren noticed Wipolo was holding one hand behind his back. That was odd.

“Hey Wipolo, you’re right handed. What are you doing using the wrong hand?”

Obi-wan turned to see Wipolo’s startled expression. He’d been caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was definitely thinking about The Princess Bride where they’re pretending to be left handed are, in fact, even more awesome. I guess, underneath some of the layers, Wipolo is a bit more of a Wesley than I originally thought. in the beginning, he was a foil for Jinn but I like him being surprisingly tough.


	36. Conflicting Orders

Jinn paced back and forth in Leia’s living room. It was midnight and Leia was nursing her second cup of tea, wishing she was in bed. She was fascinated by her half-sisters but they certainly were a lot of work. Jinn had appeared on her doorstep an hour earlier and they had been spinning versions of the same conversation on repeat.

“I don’t know what to do.” Jinn sighed sadly.  
“You should go to him. Right now. Ask him directly.”  
“But Father said not to.”  
“You’re 31!” Leia practically shrieked.  
“But he knows what he’s talking about, he’s a General.”

Somehow this was a sticking point for the dear sweet girl. Leia didn’t know if Jinn held some kind of rank but she seemed unable to go against a direct order from her Father.

“Oh.” Leia saw an opening in the circular logic. “I’m a General too and I think you should go. I take that back, I order you to go confront your boyfriend.”

“Really? But those are conflicting orders.”  
“But I’m awake and he isn’t.” Leia hedged, out of logical ideas. “He’s off duty.”  
“I guess that makes sense.”  
“Absolutely. Now, put on some shoes dear, and please don’t forget to close the door on your way out.”

Jinn appeared on Ajan Kloss, peaking in on Rey and Ben. The two were tangled up together in bed. She tiptoed to find Wipolo in bed, finding him reading a dense textbook titled Art History of the Outer Rim Territories. It was hard to decipher the look on his face. 

She stumbled slightly. “Damnit!”

He was up in a flash, his arms around her. He nuzzled her neck, happily. “I thought you were mad at me.”  
“I am mad at you.”  
“Because of Swans’ purse?”  
“To hell with her purse. I’m mad because you let me fall in love with you and the whole time you’re just a big, stupid, worthless liar!”  
“What did I lie about? My job? My name? It’s just a name.”  
“These aren’t minor details! This is who you are. What you do.”  
“I fixed what I do. I'm cleared to be on Flight Crew. That’s not a lie anymore.”  
“Why do you even need to lie?”  
“It’s not safe.” His posture deflated sadly. “It’s not safe for you, it’s not safe for my family.”  
She studied his eyes. “Are you trying to get away from something you did or something you are?”  
“The latter.”  
“Are you a Sith?”  
“No.”

His voice was calm and sincere but she noted that he didn’t sound surprised by the question.

“Open your Force to me and answer that question again.”  
“I can’t.”  
Her face crumpled. “Why?”  
“It’s not safe.”

”You opened your Force to me before.”

”That was an accident. I was too injured to -“

”To what? Block me out?” Tears fell freely from Jinn’s eyes. “Blocking Force energy is only practiced by Sith.”

Wipolo’s expression shifted. Tiny wrinkles formed as he frowned. “Jinn, If I was a Sith. I would have helped Ben escape. Or killed him. Or killed Rey.”

Jinn shivered at the hollow tone of his voice. She shrank away from him.

“No, no, no. Don’t be scared of me. I’m not going to hurt anyone. I won’t hurt you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. The sweetest, kindest, most perfect girl. You’re my world now.” He slowly, cautiously slid his hand to the small of her back, before he leaned into her. He pulled her into a close embrace, kissing her neck softly.

“You’re mine.” She whispered, her voice sounded stronger than she felt. “Mine.”

“I’m yours. I’m so happy to be yours.” His arms wrapped around her. He couldn’t stand having space between them. “I wish I could tell you everything, Jinn."

“It’s something bad, isn’t it?” Her eyes were clear.  
  
He nodded. “Yes, it’s very bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how to write these two.


	37. Fatherhood

When Ren woke from a nap, the birds of Ajan Kloss were so loud that he was positive one was actually in his room. The shrill squawking was positively insane. His head whipped around the room, looking for the source of the unholy noise. That’s when he saw him: Han Solo was standing in the doorway of his room. 

“Those bastards sure are loud.” 

Ren sat up with a start. He could feel his throat go dry. It had been so long since he had seen his father. Han’s hair was so gray, his face was etched with deep lines. _When did he get this old?_

Han walked toward his bedside. The swagger was still there. The confident smile. There was something terribly wrong. Ren studied his Father’s face with growing alarm. Han’s lips were quivering with emotion. 

“What’s happening? Why - why are you here?“ Ben couldn’t believe he was actually speaking to his father.

“I came to say goodbye.“

Ren didn’t care that he sounded like a boy. “You’re coming to say goodbye? I haven’t seen you in 15 years.“

Han just stared at him. His eyes squinted into a smile and a horrible memory seeped out from the darkest corner of Ren’s brain. He had killed his own Father. In cold blood. He tried to cut away his past, by eliminating the only people who loved him. 

The scope of his own idiocy was astounding. Ren ran his hands over his face in astonished horror.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Tear filled and spilled out of his eyes. His father had come to repair the web of time where it had been broken. The worst day of his life laid out before him as a gift. He breathed in and with a breath, his identity shifted. The pain of remembering what he’d done was beyond anything he could imagine. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered. 

Han nodded. “I know, kid. I know.“ He leaned over and kissed the top of Ben’s head. Ben gripped onto his father’s arm. 

“Remembering is not the opposite of forgetting, Ben.”

Ben clutched at his Father, the sobs ripped out of him until his was breathless.

When he got his breath back, Han kissed his son’s head again. His lips still trembled. “I’ve got to go, kid.”

Ben looked up to see Leia in the courtyard, her arms crossed. In an instant he knew she was dead too. His parents were gone. But the Netherworld was not unreachable. He could see them there.

“You’re going back to the Netherworld. With Mom?“

Han shook his head sadly. “I’m not cut out for that place. I don’t belong there.”

Ben's shoulders slumped, clarity setting in. “You’re- you’re becoming one with the Force.” He was leaving the peaceful Netherworld for the unknown. He was leaving Leia and Ben again, one final time. 

“Don’t go.“ He wanted to drop down to the floor and beg his Father, he wanted to explain that Han was going to be a Grandfather soon, he wanted to reason with him that they should get to know each other as adults but he couldn’t bear to ask. He knew what the answer would be. Ben knew his Father, understood him even though it left an empty hole around his heart. Han loved him, had always loved him but he was not meant to stick around. 

“Take care of Rey and your Mother - I don’t have a right to ask you to take care of anyone. I can’t tell you what to do. Do your best.” 

“I’m never going to leave them.” Ben said it, not as an accusation. He wanted Han to know it was going to be OK. “It’s OK to go. I’ll pick up where you left off.”

Han looked up at Leia in the courtyard and nodded. He locked into Ben’s eyes a final time. “See ya, kid.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so sad to write.


	38. Pair

Rose whispered quietly to the pair of globefruits. Her boyfriend, Beaumont, watched in quiet fascination as she quickly and violently chopped off the tops of the fruit. The heads of the fruit were whisked away before she started to eat. 

Growing up, her sister Paige had developed a complex system of beliefs around the notion that all living things had souls. Their childhoods on Hays Minor, a poor mining colony controlled by the First Order, had been marked by cruelty beyond their control. As an adult, Rose realized her older sister’s complicated rituals were a reaction to feelings of helplessness watching their friends and neighbor’s suffering.

Paige only bought food in pairs, not wanting anything to be alone. Food was consumed in even numbers. She executed fruit and vegetables quickly, apologizing to them, she couldn’t bear to throw away or eat any kind of seeds, trees had memories, the list went on and on. After Paige’s death, Rose had kept some of her sister’s strange rituals alive, even though she didn’t really believe in them. 

On the other side of the courtyard, Rose saw Ben using a walker, moving slowly. His hair was wet from the shower, his hair was getting longer, his facial hair somehow made him look younger. He was shirtless and Rose could see the massive dark bruises where he had been restrained around his neck and shoulders. Rey stopped her training to watch him as well. Aware he was being watched, Ben straightened his shoulders and began moving more quickly. Wipolo walked behind Ben, carrying toiletries and a towel. 

Rose couldn’t make sense of the expression on Ben’s face as he let go of the walker, transferring carefully to the edge of the bed. Wipolo helped him move his legs onto the bed. Rose’s heart ached for him as he huffed with effort, trying to position himself against the pillows.

“That was good. You’re doing well Ben.” 

Rose had almost forgotten it was OK to call him Ben now. 

Wipolo smiled warmly at her as he moved the walker into Ben’s reach. 

“Rose, I’ll be right outside if you need me.” He looked at Ben pointedly. “He can’t get far.”

Ben smirked. “But I am getting faster.”

"I didn't hear you. Did you say faster or fatter?" Wipolo said with a smile. 

When Wipolo left, Ben turned to stare at her, looking annoyed. 

Rose sighed. “I don’t really know why I’m here. I don’t think this is going to help anything. I feel like I’m gonna get sick.” 

The days since Ben had gone dark had been lonely. She hadn’t realized how important it was to have someone to talk to. It seemed funny that one person could be so many things to her. Enemy to friend to nothing. Now they were nothing. 

“I still don’t remember -“

“I know and it’s OK. You don't know me, right?” She looked down at her hands.

“I still don’t remember -“, he begin again, pausing for effect, “your opinion of beards.”

She snorted a sound somewhere between a laugh and sob. Tears of relief rolled down her cheeks. “You look like exactly like a discount wizard.”

“Porg butts.” He said softly.

Her eyes flashed. She dove at him, crushing him into a hug. “My gods you remember me!”

He spoke haltingly. “You liked to make fun of me and make jokes about my clothes. You said I dressed like a first order rummage sale.”

She smiled through tears. “I brought your uglyass jacket.” She handed him a black rumpled mass

He held it up. “Rey said it was the ugliest jacket she’d ever seen.”

“She’s obviously never looked you up on the holonet.” She didn’t care that she was crying.

“Go on.” He challenged.

A half hour later, Rey found Ben and Rose side by side in bed, pointing at pictures on her laptop.

“Look at me! Am I wearing lipstick?”

“Oh my gods, I hope so. Look, look, look at your pants!” Rose giggled. “They’re up to your armpits.”

“I look OK in a cape.” 

“Anyone can look OK in a cape, you look absolutely incredible.”

“Makes my shoulders look wide.” Ben noted. 

“If you weren't attacking a perfectly good trash can with a lightsaber, I’d do your laundry.”

“Is that some sort slang for sex?”

“No. Just a sliding scale of intolerance. Are you still naming your baby girl after me?” Rose asked shyly.

He looked up, seeing Rey at the doorway. “All of our children will be named Rose but you have to babysit around the clock like an indentured servant.”

“Will you buy me a lightsaber?” 

“You have to make your own.” Ben deadpanned. “It’ll be lots of fun for you. We’ll go camping beside the icy caves of Ilum so you can mine your own kyber crystal.”

“Pass. Wait - can it be pink?”

“You’d have to be a Sith. Darth Rose. Now that sounds like discount wizard. 

“Speaking of Darths. When do we hang out with your grandfather? I mean, _dang_. Anakin Skywalker is one fine piece.”

“Laundry?”

“I would spot treat his underwear and everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Ben / Ren and Rose. Their scenes together are my favorite.


	39. Speculation

Obi-Wan kept an arm around Jinn’s shoulder as she sniffled. They sat on the edge of a peaceful fountain in the Netherworld. Here, Obi-Wan felt like his daughter was safe from harm. “What do _you_ think Wipolo is?”

“He could be a Force Projection?” Qui Gon suggested. 

“Wouldn’t the effort kill him?” 

“Not if he’s already dead.” Qui Gon countered.

“He’s not in the Netherworld. Are you saying he’s -“

Obi-Wan set his lips in a tight line. “His name wasn’t on the Kyber Crystal. The only ones that are erased were -“

“He’s not a Sith. He’s not a Sith.”

“We don’t know that. He could be a minor user of the dark side of The Force.”

“Well, not that minor if he’s blocking himself.” Qui Gon reasoned gently. “Let’s acknowledge the Force users who can block themselves have all been extraordinarily powerful.”

“But I know him.”Jinn’s lower lip pouted stubbornly.

Obi-Wan met her gaze calmly. “Do you? How much do you actually know?” 

Jinn folded her hands together. “I know his actions: he was attacked by the Knights of Ren twice. The first time, he would have died without me. I know that from first-hand observation. The second time, they tortured him trying to make him join but he refused. We have Resistance witnesses to corroborate this.”

“Long ago, Palpatine engineered his own kidnapping.”

“Being kidnapped is not the same as tortured!” Jinn snapped.

Qui Gon sighed heavily. “Jinn, we simply do not know who he is. He is using a false identity. He refuses to take a midi-chlorian test. His Force cannot be sensed and he admitted to Swans that he’s blocking himself. Who besides a Sith behaves this way?”

Obi-Wan patted Jinn’s hand. “We simply do not know _what_ he is.”

“You do! You’ve met him. I _know_ you can sense his goodness. He’s been alone with Rey and Ben for a week! He hasn’t tried to hurt Rey. He hasn’t tried to rescue Ben. He’s so patient and kind to been even when Ben was being a total dickhead.”

“Maybe he’s waiting until you restore Ben’s health?”

“Then why not just take me too?”

Obi-Wan’s brow creased. “Because you’re a Kenobi and you can protect yourself! This could be a test of your ability.”

“No! I reject this argument! He is not a Sith!” Jinn burst into tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is unnecessary, I am considering deleting it.


	40. Wrong Questions

Obi-Wan, Swans and Qui Gonn appeared on Ajan Kloss in the cool of the morning. Obi-Wan felt a tinge of dread and they spotted Wipolo, Ben and Rey sorting laundry. Rey sat next to Ben’s wheelchair, her hands touching his arm every few seconds. They seemed so happy.

“Swans, stay here with Ben.”

“Yes sir.” Swans was in military mode.

“Rey, I’ll need you to come with us.”

“What’s going on?” Rey’s smile faded as she gaged the seriousness of their mood. He handed her a lightsaber.

Ben locked eyes with Wipolo, suddenly feeling protective of his friend. “What do they want? Are you OK?”

Wipolo nodded solemnly. 

Obi-Wan dismissed Swans with a slight wave. Swans stole a worried glance at Qui Gon. His gaze held her in a way that made her blush. She picked up the laundry Rey had left behind and wheeled Ben inside his quarters. “Gods, you’re heavy. It’s like pushing a tree.” 

Qui Gon turned to study Wipolo. The tall, scruffy haired young man shifted his weight uncomfortably. To his credit, the boy seemed determined not to move even as Obi-Wan paced around him in a circle. 

“What is your name?”

“Wipolo Nagg.”

“Clearly that is not true. Wipolo died over a decade ago.”

“The force works in mysterious ways.” The young man’s voice was steady. 

Obi-Wan waved a hand in front of Wipolos face. “You _will_ tell us who you are.”

Wipolo smiled slightly. “I’m sorry General Kenobi, that trick doesn’t work on me.”

Qui Gon stepped forward and nodded solemnly. It was a gesture Obi-Wan knew quite well. His old master had made a decision. “We are going about this incorrectly. We have not been asking you the right questions.”

Wipolo looked up sharply. 

“It is not that you _will_ not tell us, it is that you _cannot_ tell us.”

Wipolos lips parted as if he wanted to speak.

Rey watched the wise Jedi alter the dynamics of the conversation. Wipolo’s fists unclenched. 

“Let us walk together, shall we? Rey, would you please lead the way?”

They walked along the path of the training run. Rey marveled at the beauty she usually passed in a blur trying to race through the course. Wipolo and Rey walked in front and the older Jedi followed behind. 

Wipolo glanced over at Rey with a look she couldn’t place. Was he angry? Resigned? Scared? He definitely looked like he wanted to leave. 

They reached an overlook. The jungle stretched out on either side of them. Looking down on the treetops, everything looked identical even though one side held their base and the other side was an untouched forest.

Rey glanced at Qui Gon. His lips were curled in a knowing smile. “You don’t want to take a midi-chlorian test because you already know what it would say.” 

Wipolo’s expression remained neutral. They continued to walk.

“You pretend you don’t know how to fight.” Qui Gon said matter a factly.

Wipolo shrugged. “Honestly, I choose not to learn-”

“Incorrect.” Qui Gon interrupted him.

Obi-Wan smiled without warmth. “Please don’t lie. You can only pretend so much. You’ve been trained, extensively. You pretended to be left handed but even then, your body betrayed you. Your footing, your posture.”

“What?” Rey gasped.

“Because he doesn't want to draw too much attention to himself.”

”Who - who trained you?” Rey asked.

”No one you would know.” 

They walked on. Qui Gon watched Wipolo closely. The young man looked like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin.

“And you have some natural abilities?”

“I can feel the planets rotating, I can sense decay and illness. I didn’t know how to do anything about it, I didn’t know I could heal until I met Jinn.” He set his lips in a tight line. “I want to use my power for something good.” 

“Something quiet?” Qui Gon smiled. “Out of the public eye.” 

Obi-Wan felt as though he was one step behind putting together this puzzle. Qui Gon was maddening.

“Instead of asking if you are Wipolo Nagg. May we ask who else you have been?”

“That’s the wrong question.” Wipolo whispered.

“Let me try again. What other names have you had?” 

“Willem Vaore, Wallias Talaksare, Warin Shaple. Those are the most recent ones.”   
  


“All W’s? Does that mean something?“ Obi-Wan asked, his confusion increasing.  
  


Qui regarded Wipolo kindly. “He preferred being at the back of the classroom in school, bottom of the list. But not the end. Can’t be first or last.”

“Do you have paperwork to support these identities?”

“Names are of no importance but yes, the paperwork is authentic looking.”

“Expensive?”

“Moderately expensive.”

“Enough to allow you to join the Resistance?”

“Swans wasn’t all that discerning when she recruited us.”


	41. Right Question

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed with irritation. "Of those identities, I’m most concerned about Wipolo Nagg since he is the man my daughter is in love with."

Wipolos eyes flashed at the mention of Jinn's name.

Qui Gon regarded Wipolo kindly. “You _cannot_ tell us what we want to know.”

Wipolo looked downward. “No.”

“But you wish we would think of it ourselves.” Qui Gon smiled, finally understanding. “It is something we have all forgotten. A glaring mistake.”

“There are always two.” Wipolo whispered.

Obi felt his blood run cold.

"Master and apprentice."

Qui Gon nodded. "Palpatine tried to have Rey brought to him, to be his successor. To continue the Sith order."

"Well, his clones didn’t work out so well."

"I thought Kylo Ren was his apprentice. Wait - Are you the apprentice?" Rey whispered.

"Gods, no." Wipolo's laugh sounded hollow. "He was _never_ going to take Kylo Ren as a real apprentice. Ren was too unstable, too independent."

"But you do know who he took as his apprentice, don’t you?" Qui Gon asked evenly.

Wipolo shook his head and looked down again. "Wrong question."

Qui Gon tapped his lips, thinking.

"He calls out to all my family. He wants one of us. But we will not answer him. We will stay silent and hidden,” Wipolo spoke in measured tones as though he was repeating a lesson.

Qui Gon’s shoulders straightened. He took a long breath through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. "Palpatine did not _need_ to take a new apprentice after Vader, did he?"

Wipolo stared at him, his eyes full of answers.

"Because he never truly got rid of his old one. His favorite."

"Darth Maul? Again?" Obi-Wan was incredulous. “I buried him myself!”

"Darth Maul was just an assassin. They only called him apprentice as a joke."

"How could you possibly know that?"

Wipolo offered a small smile. "You cannot hide from a stranger. I know everything there is to know about him. I know he admired you, General Kenobi and he loved you, Master Qui Gon. But Darth Maul was laughable. Why elevate the beast of burden when you still to need someone to pull your cart?"

"Who then?" Obi-Wan looked from Wipolo to Qui Gon, alarmed. "Oh gods, it’s not Anakin?"

"No. I will not say his name out loud." Wipolo's voice was calm and even. "I will not claim it as my own."

Qui Gon nodded sympathetically. "I will not make you. Dooku he wants someone of his own bloodline to be his apprentice, his eventual successor."

"Dooku?!" Obi-Wan hissed. 

"Could you please not say his name so close to me?" Wipolo snapped.

Obi-Wan and Qui Gon looked at each other.

"We will not be found. We have worked for decades to remain invisible to him. We are no one. Names are just names."

Qui Gon place a hand on Wipolo's wide shoulder. "You’re worried about Jinn."

"I don’t know what to do."

Obi-Wan shook his head, trying to force himself to think clearly. "So there’s a decapitated Count Dooku out there?"

Qui Gon stepped closer to Wipolo. "He commissioned clones of himself, didn’t he?"

"Oh gods, of course he did." Obi-Wan groaned.

"Anakin didn’t kill the real Dooku, did he?"

"No." Wipolo sat on the ground. He was too tired to remain standing. Without thought, the others sat down as well. 

Rey was trying to follow. She'd heard of Dooku but didn't know much about him. "You’re a blood relative then? A Grandson?"

Wipolo shook his head slightly. "It’s complicated."

"Cousin? Nephew?"

"Something like that."

Qui Gon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Grand nephew? Ramil? Jenza?"

Wipolo locked eyes hearing his grandmother’s name.

"You’re Jenza’s grandson?"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes in total astonishment. "Well blast it all to hell, Jinn will lose her mind."

"I will not leave her."

Obi wan knew his stubborn, obsessive daughter would not allow herself to be left. "But Dooku _killed_ his sister." 

"I don’t know if I’d use those exact words,” Wipolo hedged. “Somebody killed somebody Who looked like my Grandmother."

"She was going to reveal him as Sith." Qui Gon explained.

“Much like the Count, Jenza was quite complex.”

"Oh." Qui Gon followed Wipolo's careful words. "Oh, she was a force user like him?" 

"Her father hated Force Users. Jenza became a master of blocking herself." Wipolo looked slowly from Obi-Wan to Qui Gon to Rey. "His sister was most beloved to him and the Count loved her as he loved no else."

"Oh dear." Obi Wan breathed, understanding the gravity of what he was hearing. "Dear gods, brother and sister? They were together?" He didn’t want to finish the sentence.

Wipolo nodded stiffly. "He went to great lengths to protect Jenza but in doing so, he revealed his savagery. We have been in hiding since the day of my Grandmother’s supposed death."

They got up to return to the base. Wipolo walked ahead. Cursing himself and praying for forgiveness. Rey caught up to him. She had never seen anyone look so sad. 

"Gods, forgive me for betraying my family. Gods forgive me for bringing you into this." 

Rey touched his shoulder. "I will stand beside you. I will fight him with you."

Wipolo was touched by her loyalty. "That is not our way. We do not want to be part of his legacy."

"You already are."

"If - if he finds me, he will find my mother or my grandmother. I cannot allow that. They have sacrificed so much already. I do not want to become a Sith. I want to pay the universe back for _his_ sins." 

Rey nodded. She understood him clearly. "We will."

Walking behind, Qui Gon smiled at Obi-Wan’s defeated expression. "It could be worse."

"How in stars could it be worse? He’s a Dooku?!" Obi-Wan closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.

"He’s smart enough to avoid detection and wise beyond his years to refuse the legacy."

"There’s a 137 year old Sith Lord out there, scouting for his apprentice. Damnit. Jinn is in love with a Dooku."

"You adore Rey and she’s a Palpatine." Qui-Gon reminded him

"Rey is Rey."

"And Wipolo is Wipolo."

"That isn’t even his real name. We don’t even know his name."

"Obi-Wan, it’s just a name." 

  
  
  
  
  



	42. Worth It

Before lunch, Wipolo helped Ben to the shower. They both knew Ben could manage on his own but it was an excuse to talk. “Something bad happened didn’t it?”

Wipolo swallowed hard. He wouldn’t cry. Not in front of Ben. “Like Rey, my grandfather is not someone I am not proud of.”

Ben looked him in the eye. “I can help you. Whoever it is, Rey and I can protect you.”

“You can’t help me." He looked through Ben, thinking of the words his Mother had drilled into his head from an early age. "I must protect myself.”

→→

Wipolo emerged from the pilot’s quarters an hour later looking like a mess. Rey poured him a cup of caf. “Are you going to be OK?”

He shook his head silently.

She handed him a protein bar from the rations crate. 

His eyes were red and he seemed dazed. “Is there any chance you could take me to base today? I - I kind of need to get out of here.” Wipolo’s voice sounded far away.

“Of course, of course. You haven’t had a day off in a week. You’re doing the lion’s share of the work and I've taken you for granted.” She knew the work on Ajan Kloss was not the problem but she sensed he didn’t want to talk about Dooku. “I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”

Wipolo nodded. “Yavin 4?”

Rey nodded. She caught Ben’s eye. 

“We’ll go with you. Do you need to talk to someone there?”

Wipolo’s eye twitched as he spoke. “Yes I do.”

→→

Rey was in awe of how much was happening on the Yavin 4 base. When she’d been there last, the area around the Great Temple seemed swampy with puddles collecting around it. Two additional landing stips were under construction and a slew of B/SF-17 heavy bombers were lined up in the maintenance bay. Two captured Resurgent-class Star Destroyers were being repainted with the Resistance insignia. 

Rey and Ben went in search of Rose. When they walked away from Wipolo, Rey wondered if they would never see him again.

  
→→

Wipolo walked the halls of the base. He passed by the wing where he had once shared a room with 6 other soldiers. He found Harry in the Engineering Hanger. Following his mother’s rules, he grabbed a pilot’s helmet to disguise himself before approaching his brother. At 6’3”, they stood out in a crowd. If anyone saw them side by side, it would be beyond obvious that they were brothers. Wipolo knew Harry was trying to make a life for himself here with the Resistance and he didn’t need his weird little brother messing things up. 

Harry had always been better at fitting in and blocking himself than anyone else in the family. With their Kiffar father’s dark skin, long straight nose and their mother’s honey blond hair, Harry looked like a bronze statue come to life. He had a charismatic ease to him that both men and women found appealing. 

As Wipolo strode up behind him, Harry’s spine stiffened. He turned to his brother with a wide smile. His eyes darted around the empty hanger before he threw an arm around Wipolo’s shoulders.

Harry checked him over slowly. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on Ajan Kloss. Is everything OK?”

“Yes. I mean, no.” Wipolo stammered. “Does Mom know I’m there?”

“No. I removed the tracking on your laptop. I assume you disabled the secondary tracking device that you’re not supposed to know about.” 

Wipolo grinned. “Of course.” Their Mother’s security measures were always multifaceted. 

“Mom says you have a girlfriend who’s a force user. Please tell me it’s not Rey.” 

Wipolo flinched. “It’s not but why did you say that?”

“Cuz I know she’s on Ajan Kloss and she’s smart as hell. She’ll see right through your badly crafted doofus persona.”

"My girlfriend’s name is Jinn. Um, Jinn Kenobi.”

“Please tell me she’s NOT related to Swans.”

“She’s her sister.”

“Gods, you’re a fucking idiot. She’s a kriffing Force Seeker.”

“I’ve met Swans. She couldn’t sense me.” Wipolo tried to sound more confident than he felt.

“Are you sure?”

“Well, she could tell I was blocking her. So I guess that sort of backfired a little.” 

Harry’s shoulders fell. “Fucking hell, Wipolo. Mom is gonna have a heart attack.”

Wipolo held up a cautionary hand. "Is it really beneficial for her to know every single thing about our lives? You've slept with, like, hundreds of people -"

"Why would I limit myself to humans?"

"Life forms, whatever." Wipolo rolled his eyes. "The sheer volume of your -"

Harry interrupted, his eyes sharp. "I would never risk being with a Force User. One slip up and she's going to see inside your mind."

Wipolo could feel his face getting hot. Jinn had glimpsed his memories when he'd been injured. “Would it be _so_ bad if someone found out? If the _right_ people found out?”

“There are _NO right people_ . There is NO _finding out_.” 

“What if they’re Jedi?” Wipolo whispered.

“Jedi can get killed just like everyone else. Order 66. No one can protect _us_ from _him_.’

“What if they’re already dead?”

Harry frowned and tilted his head. “I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing. It’s not like they can die twice, right?”

Wipolo exhaled deeply. He didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath.

“Did you tell your girlfriend?” 

“No. I’m not an idiot.”

Harry gave him a skeptical look. “Well, you’re kind of an idiot. You’re dating a force user. There’s a whole galaxy out there and you chose a force user.”

Wipolo looked at his brother happily. “She’s a Force Healer. I can do it too. She taught me how to Force Heal with her.”

Harry inhaled sharply through his nose. “Well it’s been nice knowing you but you’re gonna have to get the fuck away from me. I hope the rest of your short life is really fulfilling.” 

“Do you want to see a picture of her?” A lovesick grin was plastered on Wipolo's face. 

Harry couldn’t help returning his brother’s smile. “Of course.” He grabbed the picture of Jinn away from his little brother. “Yeah, OK I get it. She’s totally worth it. Does she have a brother? Or a sister, you know, besides Swans? She’s pretty mean.”

  
  



	43. Waiting Room

“Dear Gods, this smell is horrifying!” Obi-Wan looked out of the window, sputtering as they waited in the grubby maternal unit of the Kebolar Women’s Clinic.

“I’ll remind you that you And Swans chose this place but I get it. I think we should leave. I don’t like it here.” Rey was rambling, her nerves were frayed. “It smells like meat cooking in dewback urine. We’ve been waiting for two hours. Let’s just go.”

Rey had hoped to avoid doctors all together. Jinn had delivered babies before. Or at least, Rey though she'd be great at it. 

Rey couldn’t remember ever going to a doctor in her life. Ben had reasoned with her that her parents probably took her to one when she was little. She probably been given vaccinations or whatever normal kids received. She didn’t have any memories of her parents beyond their murders and watching their ship fly away from her on Jakku. Maybe Jinn and Wipolo could help with that too. They’d done wonders with Ben’s memory.

“Let’s leave and just have Jinn check on me. I’d rather do that.” She stared at some horrible looking instruments hanging on the doctor’s wall. “Gods, what is that scary thing?” 

Ben smiled. “That takes your temperature. See?” He held it up to his temple.

“We should have waited until Leia could be here.” Rey stared out the window. “This isn’t fair to her.”

Ben rubbed her shoulders kindly. “It’s OK. I’m here.”

Rey had been deeply worried about Ben’s safety during the entire 15 minute walk there, reminding them that in a wheelchair, they wouldn’t be able to make a quick getaway. “I thought Swans was supposed to be with us.”

Obi-Wan smiled at her calmly. “Swans is stationed right outside the clinic where we left her. And still Sola is still guarding your ship. Everything is fine. Everyone is fine. You needn’t worry.” He impulsively kissed Rey’s forehead. “Swans chose this clinic because it is extremely busy, it takes credits and they don’t seem to be at all concerned about your complete lack of medical history.” 

Rey bit her lip. “I wish that office woman hadn’t scanned my palm.” She looked up into Obi-Wan’s comforting blue green eyes. “Why did I let her do that? I should have said no. Why didn’t I say no? What if their medical database connects back to the Resistance? They’ll know it’s me and then the bounty on my head will get higher than Ben’s. Gods, I’m so sweaty. We should definitely leave.”

Ben shifted uncomfortably at the mention of bounty hunters. “Maybe we should go.”

A Twi'lek nurse entered the room wearing gloves, she wore a protective mask covering her face and blue lekku. She skimmed over Rey’s chart.

Obi-Wan turned to the window to give the young couple a measure of privacy.

“Let me take your vitals.” The nurse smiled as Rey flinched having her temperature scanned.

“Did you have food deprivation in your youth?” 

“You can tell that?”

The nurse nodded. “Your bone structure. With proper nutrition, I’m sure you would have been two or three inches taller.”

“Oh.” Rey felt like she was going to hyperventilate.

“Just like I can tell you’ve spent time in the desert from the sun damage on the tops of your hands.”

“Gods, you’re observant.” Rey didn’t like this chatty nurse. She looked at Ben pointedly, groaning through their Force Connection. **Why is she talking to us when there are so many people who need assistance?**

Ben squeezed her hand. **She’s just showing off. It’s ok. But I wish she would just get on with it.**

The nurse spread a cool gel over Rey’s stomach. “It feels weird, doesn’t it? Let me adjust the lights.” She turned on the sonogram machine’s two large monitors. An older doctor entered and began to wash up. The nurse helped him don a mask and gloves. He sat on a rolling chair and slid over to them. 

“I’m Doctor Seno.” He shook hands with Ben and Rey and nodded to the nurse who began rubbing a bulbous wand over Rey's stomach. 

“Give us a minute, just going to make sure your organs are where they’re supposed to be and whatnot. It’s all looking good, young lady.” The doctor spoke quietly. “Any chance you think you might be having twins?”

“I hope not!” Rey said theatrically. She grabbed Ben’s hand.

“Twins run on a mother’s side of the family.” The nurse added helpfully.

“My mother was a twin.” Ben’s heart raced as he looked up at the monitor. “Actually, my grandmother had two sets of twins.” 

“I didn’t know Padme had other children.” The doctor muttered.

Ben squinted at the doctor, wondering if he’d misheard him. _Had they written that down? Did the doctor recognize him? Rey had been freaking out all day. Maybe she had made a mistake and used his real name?_ He glanced at Obi-Wan who was across the room, still looking out the window. 

“Look there, right there. The doctor pointed. “That’s the heartbeat. Just one baby. Let’s print out a picture.” The nurse froze the screen and a machine spat out a black and white image of the baby. 

The doctor winked at Rey and Ben. “I don’t know if you’re aware of it but twins run in both of your families. 

Ben turned to Obi-Wan, relieved to see his hand reach beneath his cloak for his Lightsaber. 

“It’s quite interesting Rey, your mother, Panlin, was a twin. But alas, the other baby didn’t survive infancy. There was something not quite right about her. Her head was a bit squishy like your old friend Snoke.”

Rey stared at the doctor in shock. “Who are you?!”

”Just an old friend of the family.”

“My - my mother's name was P-Panlin?”

Obi-Wan drew his lightsaber, igniting the blade. 

The Doctor pulled his mask down to rest on his chin, revealing a trim mustache and beard. Count Dooku smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Rey, I attended your mother’s birth and your own. Your birth and your twin sister, of course. I do hope I will have the honor of witnessing the birth of this child as well. Even though it will be a single birth, it would be quite moving to attend the birth of Dyad child. A true miracle of The Force.”

“Step away from her, Dooku.” Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet but firm.

“Oh, she’s in no danger from me. It would be counter productive to damage the vessel of life.”

“I will destroy you, Dooku. Or do you prefer Darth Tyrannus?”

“Oh no, I don’t stand on formality.” He turned to Ben and Rey with an impish smile. “I don’t know why I said that - I do prefer Count Dooku.”

He stood up to his full height. He smiled and bowed to each of them in turn. Let me say what a privilege it has been to be part of this momentous occasion. “Master Kenobi, it’s been a delight.” He shot Force Lightning at Obi-Wan but was blocked by Ben. 

“Would you look at _that_! I would have never guessed you possessed such talents, young Solo! Perhaps your bloodline is not as polluted as I would have guessed. You Skywalkers always seemed a bit trashy to me.” He sent a force blast through the room, knocking out the lights and sonogram machine. 

Obi-Wan scrambled to make it to the door, crashing into Ben’s wheelchair in the dark. Rey leapt off the table, her stomach still coated in goo. 

When they reached the hallway, Count Dooku was gone. 

“How did he know we were here?” Obi-Wan hissed.

“I have a twin.” Rey whispered, her words choked in her throat. “My Mother’s name was Panlin and somewhere out there, I have a twin.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was Dooku’s entrance dramatic enough? I think he’s such an amazing character. I can’t wait to write the next part of the series with him. What motivates someone like Dooku?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone reading this! It’s been super therapeutic to read and write fanfics work during quarantine. I’m so uneasy in my day to day life - I’m grateful for the chance to escape into ‘a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.’ 
> 
> I’m working on another sequel with lots of Kenobis, Dooku, blood and babies. Please let me know what you think.


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